Secrets Of An Unworthy Heart
by Langus
Summary: As children they became friends, as shinigami they were allies until he made her an enemy. An introspective look at Gin and Rangiku's relationship leading up to the point where he leaves Soul Society with Aizen. A love story of sorts. Complete.
1. A Lost Soul Is Found

The air was hot and dry. It stifled all life and forced what was left into hiding. There was no refuge from the burning wind as it whipped through the desolate town. A lone figure walked barefoot through the deserted alleys, imprisoned by dilapidated wooden structures on either side. The dust swirled up from the barren earth in tiny whirlwinds to dance around his ankles. He was alone. He'd always been alone. He'd never known love, or the warmth of a mother's touch. From the moment he'd awoken to find himself in this place, this desolate hole on the peripheries of civilization, he'd fought to survive.

In the distance he could see what the others called Soul Society. It was rumoured to be a great city full of important people called _Shinigami_. He would sometimes sit and watch them wander in and out of their great white city wearing black robes. They looked proud and strong. He longed to belong to their world, but there was no place behind those perfect walls for one such as him. So unlike him, the buildings were tall and pristine. Their white walls reflected the bright sunlight and surrounded the city with an ethereal glow. They invited him in, taunted him with thoughts of what he could not have and what he would never know.

Gin they called him - the ones who stalked him through the streets pretending he was their prey. They taunted him with it as they beat him, laughing at the unusual silver colour of his hair. It bothered him at first, being beaten for no reason other than the fact that he looked different, but soon it too became a regular part of the life he didn't understand. With time he discovered ways to avoid the gangs and learned which alleys were safe to traverse along.

He'd learned the ways of the world quickly. He had to, for there was no one to teach him and he would have died otherwise. He was like a ghost, drifting from one place to the next as the mood struck him. He traveled with no one and needed no one. For the entirety of his short, traumatic life he'd been shown that there was no good in the selfish hearts of others. They weren't worth caring about or associating with. They disgusted him and he scowled at anyone who perchance happened to pass him by.

On this day he was in a particularly foul mood. His lunch had been stolen (again!) and his stomach ached from the blows he'd received trying to get it back. His hand rested overtop the tender, bruised skin of his gut and his young body stooped from the pain as he walked. He grimaced and blew his bangs out of his eyes with a great huff of breath. He wanted to stop and sit down but his feet urged him forward. They moved him farther and farther away from the shanty town, with its broken down houses, haphazard family units and roving thugs. It was no place for a child to be and he did not long for it even after leaving it far behind.

It took several days of walking before he was far enough. By the time his aching feet finally came to rest he was surrounded by nothing but rocky, barren terrain. Lifeless trees dotted the landscape here and there, their snarling branches twisting towards the sky, but apart from their rotting trunks there was not a spec of life to be seen. Even the ground was cracked and brittle, lacking life and water. Turning his eyes to the sky he noticed that though it was perpetually grey and bleak, not a single drop of rain ever spilt to the earth below. It puzzled him, but he did not bother to dwell on it. What did he care if it rained?

It was then that he heard soft muffled cries coming from a tiny depression nearby. Curious, he stepped towards the sound, experience warning him to be wary. As he crested to the top of the hill his eyes widened with surprise to see a young girl, alone like himself, and crying bitter tears.

He stared at her in fascination for some time before making a move to approach. He debated turning around and leaving her be. He had no need for a companion, much less a girl. She would only slow him down and create problems for him when he eventually returned to the village. He wanted to leave, willed himself to, but his stubborn feet refused to budge. They remained firmly rooted to the earth and would not go anywhere unless it was forward to her side. With a sigh of resignation he gave in and stumbled down the shallow embankment until he was standing in front of her.

Hearing his approach she sniffled and ceased sobbing. She turned her face upwards to peer at him curiously. Her eyes were sapphire blue and swimming with tears. A few escaped down her cheeks and tiny droplets clung to her lashes like dew drops to a spider's web. Gin held his breath. Her eyes were open and inviting. They didn't speak to him of malice or cruel intentions, merely a kind heart and a willingness to trust. She did not fear him, but did not make a move to approach him either. He stepped forward cautiously, approaching her as one would a frightened animal.

Though he didn't know her, he was overcome with a desire to shield her from the life he'd lived thus far. He couldn't bear to see the innocence he saw in her eyes, her blind faith in the inherent goodness of man, vanish like they had from his. He stopped in front of her and tilted his head to the side inquisitively. She looked hungry. Reaching into the inner folds of his kimono he retrieved a bread roll and held it out to her.

"Hungry?" he asked, his voice dry and tight. She nodded her head and with wide eyes snatched the offering from his hands. She devoured it quickly and when she was finished she beamed up at him, a warm and grateful smile. He returned the gesture easily. It was the first time he could ever remember smiling and was surprised his face knew what to do. That seemingly inconsequential moment, a simple smile shared between two new friends, would shape the course of Ichimaru Gin's life, though he couldn't possibly have known it at the time.

--

**Author's Note:** This is going to be a Gin and Rangiku fic. It's an introspective lead up to volume 20 (episode 62 of the anime series) where Rangiku tries to hold Gin back from leaving with Aizen. I want to try and explain why he did what he did and what their relationship is actually like since they don't get into it too much in the anime.

At the time this was written I hadn't read the manga yet (bad me! I know!) so if there are any inconsistencies because of that I apologize!

I'd love to know what you think about what I've written so far so please take a second to review. Thank you!!


	2. A Promise Is A Promise

The rain began in the early hours before sunrise, tentative at first, leaking from the clouds one drop at a time. Ever so slowly the Heavens released their watery burden onto the parched earth below. Torrents of water beat down upon the ground and were greedily sucked into the thirsty soil. A lone cave stood out from the bleak landscape, carved into the jagged walls of the rock shelf that jutted up from the earth and across the plain for as far as the human eye could see. It was the lone bit of shelter from the cool rain.

Inside a small fire burned warmly, chasing away the morning chill and damp air. It was the pounding rhythm of the downpour outside that awoke the single occupant. Opening her sapphire eyes, she blinked them wide and a smile played across her lips. One year ago today he'd found her. One year ago today he'd saved her from her loneliness, wiped away her tears of despair and introduced her to a life of adventure. Gin…he was her protector, her friend; he was all things and everything. He made life bearable, gave her purpose and hope for a happy future. Without him she was certain she would have died long ago.

Rolling onto her back Rangiku splayed one hand lazily across her stomach and stared thoughtfully at the ceiling. Water had begun to seep through the ground above and was starting to pool in tiny droplets at the tips of hanging stalactites. Had it been a year already? Time passed so quickly when they were together that she could hardly believe it had been so long. It felt like mere days since they'd first met, but the chalk markings on the wall told her different. There was one for every day they'd been together. 365. Would he remember?

With a content sigh she pushed her body up and stretched out the morning stiffness. A lazy yawn escaped her lips, which she stifled with the back of her hand, as she went about her morning routine. Gin was gone, but then he usually was when she first awoke. He always left something for her to cook for breakfast. Today it was a couple of fresh fish. He never told her where he found the food, saying instead, "Don' worry yer pretty lil' head about it." After a while she'd stopped asking. What did it matter anyway?

She looked down with a grimace as her stomach grumbled loudly. It took only a moment to skewer the fish and set them atop the fire. The smell of their cooking flesh quickly permeated the cave and she took it in greedily, letting the warm vapors curl and settle in her stomach. She always felt hungry. Even when she ate till her stomach felt ready to burst it was only a matter of hours before it grumbled again. Gin told her it meant that she was special. She believed him. She believed almost everything he told her, except when he teased her…he liked to do that a lot, but she didn't mind. It was always in good fun and it made her happy to see him laugh. He was too serious most of the time.

Rangiku pulled the fish from the flames and greedily picked at their steaming flesh, sucking on the burnt tips of her fingers as she slipped the chewy morsels past her lips. It troubled her that Gin never appeared famished as she so often was. He would watch her devour whatever was in front of her and then pick at the leftovers, but never complained of hunger himself. It was just his way. Gin didn't complain about anything. He told her not to worry about him, but she did anyways. How could she not care for the only person who'd shown her companionship in this world?

Her stomach full of warm fish, Rangiku stole away from the fire and stood at the mouth of the cave. She'd never seen it rain before. Extending her hand out curiously she withdrew it the second a cold drop splashed against her palm. Then, with a delightfully giddy laugh, she stepped out from the warmth of her shelter and allowed the rain to beat down upon her head. Turning her face to the skies she opened her mouth wide and drank up whatever wayward droplets happened to land atop her tongue.

It was exhilarating to be out there like that, free from the cave, free from the exhausting heat and dry air that normally plagued their days. She played in the rain for hours it seemed, jumping into puddles, squishing the muddied earth between her bare toes, digging up the clay to make small balls and pies. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so happy without Gin around.

Remembering that she still hadn't seen him her brows knit together and a worried look came across her face. He should've returned by now. He never stayed out for long when he knew she was waiting for him. Had the weather kept him perhaps? Her eyes glanced heavenward and quickly shut when raindrops dripped into them. No…rain wouldn't keep him. She stood up, abandoning the mud patties at her feet, and journeyed back to the cave.

Maybe he'd been back for hours and didn't want to disturb her fun? With this new hope breathing life into her body she broke into a short run, pausing to catch her breath once she reached the mouth of the cave.

"Gin? You here?" she called inside, her voice sounding high and tight to her ears. Her face fell as her own voice echoed back to her.

_Where is he?_

Wrapping her arms around herself Rangiku pressed her back against the rocks and slid to the ground, not caring that the mud was dirtying her clothes beyond recognition. The rain continued to beat down upon her, plastering her cropped hair to her face in stringy tendrils.

_Has he left me?_

The numbing thought made her vulnerable heart stall in her chest. Her breath stopped as she looked out into the wasteland before her. There was no sign of him on the horizon.

Her hope slowly faded along with the daylight that illuminated the grey skies above. As day turned to night whatever remained of her hope disappeared and she gave herself up to despair. Again she was alone. Again she was lost and helpless. Hot tears leaked from her eyes to mingle with the cool droplets of rain against her cheeks. Resigning herself to defeat, she bowed her head and rested it against her forearms, silent sobs to racking her tiny frame.

_How could he have left? And without even a goodbye?_

"What're you doin' out here? Yer soaked to tha bone!" Her head snapped up, eyes blurred with tears, but she recognized the silver mop of hair and sea green eyes staring intently down at her.

"Gin?" she whispered his name into the night, unwilling to trust her eyes. She'd been so certain he was never coming back.

"You all right?" he questioned, his brows coming together in a frown.

Her clothes were practically translucent from the rain and she was covered in mud. The shiver that shuddered through her small frame didn't escape his notice, and neither did the ghostly pallor of her skin. Had she waited outside for him all this time? He kicked himself for not returning sooner. How could he have let this happen?

When Rangiku let out a strangled sob and leapt into his arms he held her tight and stroked her back.

"I was so afraid Gin. I thought you'd left," she half whispered, half sobbed as he led her inside and began to strip off her sopping wet clothes.

She let him undress her without complaint, her body shivering as the cool air washed over it. Her eyes watched him move to methodically place her clothes, one article at a time, next to the fire so they could dry. She still couldn't believe he'd returned.

She gazed at him with wide, curious eyes as he pulled a package out from inside his kimono and un-wrapped it. The paper was tossed into the dying fire to revive its flames and in the dim light she saw that in his hands was a new robe. It was dark, the fabric dyed sapphire blue to match her eyes. He slipped it over her shoulders and tied the obi at her waist. Stepping back he looked at her approvingly and nodded his head.

"Happy Birthday," he said gently, nodding his head towards the kimono. Rangiku was stunned.

"B-but I don't have a birthday…" she whispered embarrassed.

She couldn't remember anything about herself apart from her name. She had no idea where she'd come from, who her family was, or even how old she was. Her cheeks had burned bright red the first time Gin asked her about her past. When she'd told him in a low voice that she didn't know she was certain he'd turn her away, but he'd surprised her that day. He told her he didn't care what'd happened before because as far as he was concerned they were starting over. A new life, a new adventure…together.

"Well since you don' have an official birthday, I figured today's a good a day as any," he explained with a half shrug. Rangiku's hands dropped and traced the soft fabric skimming her body. The dry material felt warm against her skin but she shivered from the cold that'd long since seeped into her bones. It was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She told him as much but he shrugged the compliment off and turned his attentions to the fire to hide the faint blush that'd risen to his cheeks.

As the fire began to peter out she let out an exhausted yawn and looked longingly at her bed. It was definitely time to sleep. The emotional stress from earlier had drained her to the point where she could hardly keep her eyes open. Gin was already up, rearranging his blankets and pillow to make them comfortable. He paused when he heard her get up, his hands freezing in place above his sheets. After a moment he turned to look at her over his shoulder.

"You can stay wit me if ya want," he offered gently.

Rangiku paused, her body hovering over her sleeping blankets, and gaped at him in surprise. Gin had never offered to let her sleep with him before, always insisting that he liked his space. She'd wanted to stay with him before of course, just to feel the touch of a friend, to feel his warmth against her skin and know that he was real.

Sometimes she'd have horrific nightmares that it'd all been a dream. She would sit bolt upright in her bed, her body covered in a cold sweat, and stare into the darkness of the cave in a blind panic. Then she'd hear the reassuring sound of Gin's soft snores… Most times she'd lie down again, her body lulled back sleep, but other times she longed to reach out and touch him just to be sure. This was one of those nights when she didn't want to be alone.

"It's okay?" she asked hesitantly, her heart hammering excitedly in her chest.

He nodded his head in the dark, replying with a muted "Yea."

Abandoning her cold bed she stumbled over to him in the dark and slipped beneath the warmth of his blankets. He put his arm protectively around her waist and held her close. The warmth of his body seeped through the thin material of her kimono and spread across her skin. It was a cold night and she hadn't stopped shivering from before. His heat helped though and after a few minutes she felt her body begin to relax in his embrace. Just as her eyes fluttered and began to drift shut, she felt him shift behind her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?" she whispered back, her eyes stubbornly closing. She could feel sleep hovering not too far off.

"For makin' ya worry. I'd never leave ya like that."

His voice was determined, hard even. Rangiku remained silent for a moment, thinking over his words. She stirred in his arms and shifted her body closer to his.

"Promise?" she asked, opening her eyes to focus on the dying light of the fire.

"Yea, I promise."

His simple affirmation was all she needed to hear. Closing her eyes she fell asleep with a smile on her lips and a feeling of weightlessness in her heart. He promised he'd never leave and she believed him. She trusted him with her whole heart

---

**Author's Note:**Wow! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It was much appreciated and prompted me to post this next chapter ASAP. I'd like to know what you think of it.

Also…I know that in the anime Gin's eyes (when he opens them) are a blood red colour. This was only done because the Gin manga cover hadn't been printed yet when the episode came out. Gin's eyes (according to the manga) are actually a green sort of colour so I'm going to stick with that.

Thanks for taking the time to read this! Until next time…


	3. Our Actions Define Us

Every life has moments that define it and shape the path it will take. These moments can be painful reminders of the ways in which we have failed ourselves and those who love us, or they can be the opposite; joyful celebrations of everything that we've done right while stumbling through life.

In a third category　there is another, rarer, class of moment. These moments are not good or bad, they elicit no emotion other than surprise and yet somehow they manage to be the greatest catalysts for change.

In his short life Gin had already experienced one such life altering moment – the day he met Rangiku. This day, however, would reveal to him another and he was wholly unprepared for it.

The day had begun like any other. It was hot out. The sun's golden rays scorched the dead earth and beat down mercilessly upon their heads as they walked. They were headed for the village, the one he had left so many years ago and sworn never to return to. Why he was drawn there he couldn't be sure. A part of him felt like it was the right time to introduce Rangiku to a part of the world she'd never known. She was bright and strong willed, he had confidence that she would survive and perhaps even prosper where he had failed to.

From the day they'd met he'd known they were different. Opposites at their very core, they were diametrically opposed in the same way that day opposes night and light, dark, and yet he had never felt more at home than he was with her.

When she smiled a part of him smiled as well. When she laughed warmth flooded into his heart leaving him feeling whole in its wake. He understood that she would be better off without him, but selfishly he could not bear to let her go. After spending years at her side, learning with her, laughing with her, surviving with her, he had grown accustomed to her company and couldn't stomach the thought of returning to the life he'd known before her.

In any other circumstance this quaint life they'd fashioned for themselves never would have existed, he knew that. Given the choice, what could someone like her possibly gain from staying with someone like him?

_If you truly cared for her, you would let her choose, _his conscience reminded him daily. He couldn't deny the truth of those words any longer and the weight of them dogged his every step.

"Gin where are we going?" Rangiku whined from behind him.

She turned her face up to the scorching sun and let its rays beat down upon her reddened skin. They'd been walking since day break and the temperature had steadily risen with each passing hour. Now that the sun was high in the sky it was almost unbearable.

With an exhausted sigh she twisted her hair up at the nape her neck and began to fan the exposed skin with her free hand. A light sheen of sweat shone across her forehead and she wiped away with her sleeve before dropping her heavy curtain of hair back into place.

Gin didn't answer her. Rather than feign an excuse he remained silent knowing that she would drop the subject. She never pressed him for answers he was unwilling to give. By giving him space she'd teased out his trust. He was often surprised to find himself telling her things he'd never before dreamed of speaking aloud. She knew the most secret wishes of his heart and though that made him vulnerable he trusted her implicitly to protect them.

"I wish my father was here," she moaned sullenly. "He would carry me across this desert on his back so I wouldn't have to walk so far."

Gin smiled. The girl loved to complain but it never irritated him. At the moment she was playing their game. They'd created it one night while lying out under the stars. It was so rare that the night sky cleared enough to see their twinkling light that they made the most of it. Stretched out next to one another in contented silence, with their backs against the dirt, they'd taken turns describing the family they imagined they'd had before arriving in this world.

Gin's mother was always warm and kind. Her hands were soft, yet strong. She would use them to brush the unruly strands of hair out of his eyes while gently chiding him that it needed a trim. His father was a proud man, tall and lean with silver hair like his own. He emanated strength and power but there was a gentle wisdom in his gaze. Gin liked to imagine that his father had many laugh lines creasing the corners of his mouth and the delicate skin around his eyes.

In his dreams, his family was always laughing and smiling. They told him every day they were proud to have him as a son. It was bittersweet, their game. It simultaneously reminded them of what they didn't have while giving them hope that some day they would find what they were so desperately searching for.

Rangiku's family was ever changing. One moment her mother had long dark hair, the next it was short and light like her own. Her father had a multitude of characteristics as well. One day he was a runner, the next as strong as an ox and able to lift whole carts above his head without breaking a sweat! The family she created for herself morphed to suit her ever changing mood, but her creativity was a welcome break from the modernity of daily life.

As the first signs of the village came into view Gin felt the familiar knots of anxiety begin to turn and weave in his gut. He wasn't sure what to expect. He had little faith that things had changed much in the years since he'd left. Remembering that there were very few redeeming qualities in a place such as this, he asked himself for the hundredth time why he was bringing her here.

_Because she deserves to have a choice_, came the instant reply.

He could not ask her to stay without first showing her what else was out there. After today he would finally be able to rest easy knowing she stayed with him not because she was ignorant of her other options, but because she truly wished to remain at his side.

"Gin... Where are we?" Rangiku's voice rang out timid and confused from behind him. He stopped in his tracks and inclined his head towards her.

"Stay close," he warned.

It didn't take a fool to realize that with her expressive eyes, slowly developing body and innocent naïveté she would be easy prey for those who would take advantage of it. Obeying him unquestioningly, she skipped to his side and walked next to him. He observed her out of the corner of his eye as she scanned the approaching buildings warily. From what he could tell, the area was deserted for the moment. Of course, thugs were always a possibility but for the moment there appeared to be none.

The haunted structures of long abandoned homes towered up on either side of them and Rangiku wound her small hands around his arm. Straightening his back Gin did his best to appear confident and strong though inside he felt as uneasy as she looked.

Taking an alternate route down a deserted alley, he avoided some of the places where gangs liked to mingle and led her towards the market. This would be the first stop on their tour. Though the city was full of death and sorrow and possessed an aura of desolate loneliness the market brought it to life.

As he led her there he watched her eyes widen at the various carts and shops that came into sight. She gripped his arm tighter and his bicep flexed instinctively. He understood why she was nervous – she'd never been in the company of so many strangers in her life. The entire time they'd been together it'd always been just the two of them. To go from such simple company to the congested bustle of the market had to be overwhelming. He led her onwards, regardless of her fears. It was time she learned what the world could offer her that he could not.

Rangiku stared in wide-eyed shock at the colourful people who pushed by her on every side. So many different faces and bodies, it was impossible to keep track of them all. Unable to help herself, her eyes jerked erratically from people's faces to the contents of the various carts along the main road, to the colourful tapestries that decorated some of the buildings overhead. It was incredible. She had no idea such a place existed, one that was so full of life and exuberance. She turned to Gin, a hesitant smile lighting her face but he did not return it. He remained stony and sullen and his eyes constantly shifted around the crowd as if he was looking for someone in particular.

As they made their way through the market the crowd began to disperse and the noise dropped to a low murmur. On either side of them were small squat buildings called _izakayas_ with homes set in-between. Gin did not stop at these and seemed to pick up his pace. Rangiku was confused but followed him knowing that Gin understood a great deal more about these kinds of things than she did. It was as they passed the last pub in the stretch that a gruff voice called out to them from behind.

"Gin!"

He paused but did not turn. Rangiku glanced at him, her face full of confusion, before peering over her shoulder to see who it was that had called him.

About a dozen paces or so behind them was a man with tousled dark hair. He stood arrogantly in the centre of the street with his fists on his hips and a wicked smirk on his lips. A shiver ran up her spine as his eyes shifted to fix on her and his grin widened into a leer. Her grip on Gin's arm tightened as several more men, equally grubby looking and lecherous stumbled out of the _izakaya_ to join their friend.

"What? No hello for your old friends Gin? Shame! Who's this? Why don't you introduce us?" He turned around at that, stepping in front of Rangiku he put his arm out to protect her.

"Don' even think about touchin' her!" he warned them, his eyes ablaze.

Rangiku took a hesitant step backwards. She'd never seen Gin angry like this. His body practically radiated with hate as he stared at the men in front of him. Who were they? What could they possibly have done to make her gentle friend suddenly so full of violence? Wagering a glance their way, she slowly began to understand why Gin detested these men.

They were not like him in any way. They leered at her, their eyes roaming over her body like serpents. It made her skin crawl the way they seemed to undress her with their gaze and she unconsciously covered herself and turned her head away.

Gin had never looked at her like that. In all the time they'd been together, slept in each others' company, been nude in front of one another while changing, never had his eyes held that devious glint. Goose bumps broke out along her arms and she hastily chaffed at them with her hands.

"Gin… Can we go home?" she whispered with a gentle tug at his sleeve. From the looks of it these men were in no mood to talk. She didn't trust them and reasoned that with seven against two they didn't stand a chance of emerging unscathed should violence erupt.

"Yea. Come on."

Shooting one last glare at the gang, he spun on his heel and began to lead her away from the scene. They'd barely gone ten paces before Gin dropped to his knees. Rangiku stared down at him in surprise, wondering what was wrong but when she saw the red stain begin to darken against the back of his head she understood. Her eyes searched the ground around their feet until she saw the culprit. A carelessly thrown stone rested inconspicuously in the dirt not too far away.

Gin groaned against the dizziness that was threatening to render him unconscious. The ground swam before his eyes but he was determined to remain conscious. If he blacked out there would be no one to protect her from them. He _had_ to protect her.

Gingerly touching his fingers to the back of his head he pulled them before his eyes and blinked at them blearily. They were covered in sticky red blood. He sighed with resignation before pushing himself to his feet. Apparently rocks were still their favourite weapon of choice. As he pushed himself to his feet he noticed Rangiku standing not too far off. Her hands were balled into tiny fists at her sides and she was shaking, not with fear but anger.

"Why would you do that?" she screamed angrily, pointing an accusatory finger at the ringleader.

He put his hands to his chest in mock surprise before laughing heartily with his comrades.

"I don't need a reason to beat up outsiders. You should've stayed gone Gin," he called to him, looking past her to the boy trying to right himself.

Gin finally managed to stumble to his feet and glared at them as he wobbled slightly off balance. The street was spinning in sickening circles and his head was pounding in near blinding pain. He put his palm to his forehead to try and ease the pressure but it was no use. Their only way out would be to fight, since he doubted that either of them could run fast enough to escape the entire gang.

At the sound of Rangiku's scream he spun towards her. One of the thugs had snuck down a back alley and snatched her from behind. Her eyes were wide with fear as she looked down at him imploringly, begging him to help. The thug held her tight against his chest, his hands roving as they pleased over her body.

"I think it's time we got better acquainted with your new friend," he said tauntingly as he flicked out his tongue and licked at the tiny beads of sweat dripping down her cheek.

Rangiku closed her eyes against his touch and tried to shut everything out. Maybe it was all just a nightmare. Maybe if she tried hard enough she would wake up in the cave listening to nothing more than the reassuring sounds of Gin's snores.

She shut her eyes for another reason as well. She didn't want to see the helplessness swimming in Gin's. In that moment when their gazes locked she'd understood with a sinking feeling that he was powerless to stop them. He would fight for her until his body exhausted itself but beyond that she was on her own.

When Rangiku opened her eyes next, it was to the sensation of falling. Her body hit the dirt in an ungraceful heap and she looked up with surprise to see her abductor holding his arm wearing a grimace of pain. Blood trickled out from beneath his fingers and streamed in a steadily flowing succession of droplets to the ground.

"You little shit! You're going to pay for that!," someone called out threateningly.

Gin grabbed her arm roughly and hauled her to her feet. She noticed the small dagger in his hand and the dark stain that shone against the metal.

"Run!" he ordered, his eyes pleading with her to obey as he thrust her towards the outer edges of the small crowd of onlookers that'd begun to form.

She stumbled away from him blindly, not understanding at first that he wasn't following her. At the sound of skin striking skin she turned to see Gin being held up by two of the thugs while the leader landed blow after blow on his body. Seeing him so helpless at the mercy of such bad people forced her feet to remain frozen where she stood. She understood now why Gin chose to live with her in their cave in the desert. Together they took care of one another and lived an ideal life apart from the harsh realities of this other world.

Gin had always protected her and cared for her the way she believed an older brother would if she'd ever had one. He was protecting her even now, knowing that it meant he may not survive. She couldn't allow him to make such a sacrifice for her. He was no good to her dead. She wasn't ready to go back to living alone… For that matter, she didn't think she'd ever be ready to go back.

Her hands tightened at her sides as the anger built up within her body. With each groan that came from Gin's mouth her determination to save him and punish those who would dared to hurt him grew stronger. As the leader drew his fist back for one last finishing blow she heard her own voice ring out across the market.

"STOP IT!"

They all paused to look at her in stunned surprise. They figured she'd long since disappeared down the labyrinth of alleys and walkways that wove through the town.

Gin's head rose, his eyes swollen and bruised and he fixed her with a look of disappointment. He'd done all of this to spare her and yet she was putting herself right back in danger. His head dropped as he heard the chuckles of the men around him. He knew what they would do to her once they were done with him and he didn't have the power to stop them. She would lose her innocence to these monsters and it was entirely his fault.

Tears streamed down Rangiku's cheeks as she watched them wind up to resume their attack. The power within her now was unstoppable. She'd reached her limit and with it her emotions came spilling forward, releasing energy throughout her body. Fixing a dark glare at the leader of the gang, she concentrated on him and extended her hands outwards. She wasn't entirely sure what she was doing of course, but was reassured by the knowledge that whatever it was that was about to happen, it felt right. She closed her eyes and prayed to whoever was listening that Gin would be safe.

In that moment she felt the power leave her body and blast forth from her hands. Exhausted, she collapsed to her knees but refused to open her eyes. All around her she heard the stunned gasps of the onlookers and their murmured expressions of awe. When she finally braved a glance upwards she saw the gang sprawled out unconscious on the ground and Gin on his hands and knees struggling to stand. Without hesitating she ran to him, quickly pulling him into a tight embrace. Her tears flowed freely down her cheeks and soaked into the dirt muddied collar of his shirt.

He winced as her hands wrapped around his bruised midsection and dug into his sides, but for the moment he blocked out the pain. His hands shakily settled on her back as he tried to figure out what'd just happened to them both. One moment he was certain he was going to die and the next he was on the ground and everyone else had been blown away.

"What did you do?" he whispered into her hair incredulously. He felt her shake her head against his neck and sniffle loudly.

"I-I don't know. I'm sorry Gin! I'm so sorry!" She sobbed as the flood of emotions finally overwhelmed her. He shushed her and rubbed her back soothingly as his eyes remained fixed on the bodies around them. How had she done it? He'd always known she had a power hidden within herself, but to actually see her use it had been incredible.

The crowd around them gossiped in stunned surprise, casting wary glances their way while at the same time looking appreciatively down at the bodies at their feet. No one mourned the loss of a gang of thugs.

Amidst the mumblings of the crowd, the people behind them slowly began to part and two figures emerged. Tall and imposing in their black uniforms they gazed down at the pair critically before exchanging a knowing glance between themselves. Finally, the younger looking of the two men knelt down and offered them a gentle smile.

"I think you two should come with us."

--

**Author's Note:** Whew! I wrote this in one shot at 4 AM because I've become an insomniac and needed to occupy my time somehow. I hope it's coherent enough to understand. I'm going to apologize in advance if it's a little too philosophical. I'd love to know what you think. Thank you again for taking the time to review.


	4. Torn

It was quiet. Something about the silence felt suffocating. It made her want to run. That's what Rangiku thought as she listened to the steady pulse of her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She wanted to run - back home to their cave where the world was safe and familiar, but her body refused to move. Her legs remained frozen, folded beneath her as she knelt against the hard wood of the floor. She gripped Gin's hand and he squeezed back reassuringly. He was always so brave, much braver than she could ever hope to be.

Glancing down at her fingertips she wiggled them against her thigh experimentally. They seemed normal enough. Just regular hands, the same ones she saw every day, and yet somehow they were different. Something had happened out in the street. Some power from deep inside of her had pulsed out of those same fingers and knocked her opponents flat on their backs.

_How can someone like me have that kind of power?_ she asked herself. She had a feeling Gin could tell her. He could explain it all so she would understand, but at the moment he wasn't paying her any mind.

Her eyes panned doubtfully over the familiar features of his face. Except for the rigid set of his jaw she had no clues to what he was thinking. Disappointed, she turned away and focused her gaze instead on the two men seated casually across from them on the tatami matted floor. Though they appeared rather imposing in their black uniforms and large swords hanging at their hips, their faces were kind and encouraging. Almost reluctantly Rangiku felt the tension ease out of her shoulders. She deduced, rather logically, that if they were like the others they wouldn't have obligingly offered to pay for a meal and a hot drink.

Gin had stubbornly refused their hospitality at first, but once the steaming plate of roasted pork was set in front of him and its fragrant steam curled tantalizingly towards his nose in wispy tendrils, he begrudgingly gave in and devoured the entire plate.

Rangiku felt too exhausted to eat. Her limbs hung limp at her sides, complete drained of their energy to the point where she could hardly muster enough strength to feed herself. She did though, ever so slowly, one delicious morsel at a time. When the plate was empty she felt marginally better and took some time to lick what was left of the sticky red sauce from her fingertips.

Lifting her gaze she caught the eye of the man sitting across from her. He settled his eyes on her as he took a long slow sip of sake from the cup cradled between his fingertips and she could've sworn she saw him wink. Blinking in surprise she cocked her head to the side and studied his face but he averted his gaze and occupied himself with refilling his cup.

"That was quite a reiatsu you had back there," the other remarked. Rangiku shied away from him and closer to Gin, wrapping her free hand around his arm. Though he outwardly looked like any other man, he and the other man in black had a certain aura about them, a sense of power unlike anything she'd ever known. She felt small compared to him, completely inconsequential – like an ant among gods. She at once feared them as much as she sat in awe of their presence.

"A what?"

"Where we come from, when you can manipulate your energy the way you did back there we call it a reiatsu. All Shinigami have the ability to do it."

"Shinigami?" She turned to Gin, her eyes wide as she searched his for answers.

These words had no meaning to her. Who were these men? What was a Shinigami? What was a reiatsu and how did they know she had one? Gin's body tensed imperceptibly but Rangiku felt it. Her forehead knit together, drawn with lines of worry as her eyes traveled over the hard lines of his face.

"You're from Soul Society," he said. It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement. The men exchanged a look between them before the older one with a kind face nodded his head slowly.

"Yes, we are. Forgive me, we should have introduced ourselves earlier. I am Ukitake, Jūshirō," he address cordially, placing a hand over his heart and inclining his head slightly in their direction, "and this is my good friend Kyōraku, Shunsui."

The man with the cup of sake balanced between his fingers lifted it towards them in a genial toast and smiled before tipping his head back and downing its contents. Rangiku opened her mouth to reciprocate the introduction but a sharp squeeze of Gin's hand kept her silent.

"What do you want?" he demanded harshly. His eyes shifted suspiciously between the Shinigami. They both lifted their eyebrows in surprise at the defensive tone underlying his words.

"We'd like to offer your friend here a chance to become like us, to become a Shinigami. She has great potential," Ukitake responded without hesitation. The warm smile never left his face as he turned to rest his eyes on Rangiku. She swallowed noisily and pulled away, feeling incredibly small and inferior beneath his gaze.

Gin tensed his hand into a tight fist and pressed it into his thigh. He'd known all along what they wanted, but hearing the words finally spoken aloud was a bitter pill to take. They wanted to take Rangiku from him. They wanted to take her away to the only place he couldn't go.

Once she was inside, once she became part of their world, he would be forgotten. It'd been a mistake to bring her here. She wasn't ready, or so he told himself. He wasn't sure what was harder to admit - knowing that if he truly cared about her he should let her go, that Soul Society was ultimately where someone like her belonged, or the sinking realization that he was not strong enough to follow her.

Rangiku's voice pulled him out of his melancholy thoughts and he turned to her in surprise.

"Can Gin come too?"

It was such a simple question. It spoke volumes of how naïve she was about the workings of Soul Society, but that was entirely his own fault. He'd kept her sheltered on purpose. He'd never wanted her to become one of them and yet here she was asking if he could come along. The irony made him want to laugh.

He couldn't understand why she didn't hate him for keeping her so sheltered. He'd chosen to leave that world, to seek solace in the barren wasteland they called home, but she hadn't chosen anything. She'd followed him blindly out of a need for companionship and survival and stayed with him because she thought she had nowhere else to go.

He'd never shown her what else was out there until today, and even now he regretted it. He regretted ever stepping foot into this city and all because of this moment. The knowledge that this day would eventually come had always been tucked away in the furthest recesses of his mind. He sometimes contemplated what he would do once she left him, but never had he envisioned it happening so soon. He wasn't ready.

The Shinigami exchanged glances and after a brief pause the one who loved his sake tipped another helping into his cup and held it up to them.

"I'm sure we can work something out," he placated with a smile. Rangiku beamed and squeezed Gin's hand excitedly. She turned to face him but her smile faded when she saw the anger clearly written across his face.

"Don' lie to her," he hissed though clenched teeth. In an instant the genial faces were gone and the Shinigami shot him an identical warning glare. 'Don't mess with us', it said, 'or you'll regret it'. Ignoring their warning Gin pushed on, leaning forward to emphasize his point.

"I'm serious. Give it to her straight!"

Captain Ukitake's dark eyes settled heavily on the pair and he let out a quiet sigh. He'd been hoping to avoid any hassles but it seemed as if nothing was quite so easy these days. Speaking only to Gin he gave him a hard stare, the kind he would later give his squad when they stepped out of line.

"It is you who needs to 'give it to her straight' as you put it. Where have you been hiding all this time that she has no idea about Soul Society or what we do there? You aren't blind, you know the power she has inside of her. She could make a great Shinigami some day and yet you are intentionally trying to keep her from that destiny.

"You have spirit power of your own, I can sense it, but it is nowhere near where it needs to be for Soul Society's entrance standards. You already know that though don't you? You've known all along that you could never be one of us."

Turning to Rangiku he tried to smooth away the look of shock that registered across her features. "Soul Society is an incredible place and you would do well there. Your friend can't come with you. For now you'd have to come alone but in time maybe he can build up his power enough to take our entrance exam and you can be re-united as Shinigami."

Rangiku chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully. This place, Soul Society, sounded interesting and these men appeared to be of good character. She trusted them implicitly even though they'd only just met, yet she could feel the anger and resentment emanating from Gin. How much of what Ukitake said had been true? Had Gin really known about Soul Society all along and never mentioned it to her? And if that was the case, why would he do such a thing? Was there some reason he had to hide it from her? Was he trying to protect her yet again?

All of these questions and dozens more raced through her mind. She didn't know what to do. Gin had always helped her make the difficult decisions in life, which generally boiled down to what to eat for dinner or how to wear her hair. For the first time she felt utterly alone and vulnerable without his guidance. Even though he was right next to her she felt closed off from him somehow, like he'd shut her out and was refusing to let her in.

She squeezed his hand and silently pleaded with him for help but he remained still. His silence confirmed what she already knew - it was up to her to make the choice. He'd brought her this far, made every decision for her up until this point, but this one was all hers. Inconveniently, it just happened to be the hardest one she'd ever had to make.

In her silence both sides felt her hesitation. The Shinigami awaited her decision patiently, confident that she would do the right thing. It was obvious that going to Soul Society was what was best for her. What they didn't realize was that Rangiku's unselfish nature meant that currently she was thinking of how her decision would affect Gin.

She couldn't abandon him to a world that had showed them no kindness. It would be such a horrific way to repay him for saving her all those years ago. She was surprised when he stood up and stalked wordlessly out of the room. His footsteps echoed loudly down the hall until they disappeared out of hearing range.

Rangiku felt their eyes on her, burning into her skin like hot pokers. She wanted to cry, she wanted to laugh at the idea of becoming like these men with their ugly black uniforms and silly swords, but most of all she wanted to run after Gin. Pushing herself to her feet she muttered a humble apology and bowed low to the Shinigami, unable to look them in the eye. Turning heel she ran full tilt down the hall and out into the street.

He was sitting on the stoop outside. She stood in the doorway for a moment to catch her breath and watched him moodily toss a rock into the laneway. Feeling her presence he glanced up at her surprised. She shot him an apologetic smile before plopping herself down next to him on the steps.

"I thought you were gonna go wit' them," he commented as he tossed another stone. She shrugged and folded her hands over her knees.

"I don't want to go if you can't come with me. You're the only family I have Gin. It wouldn't be right if you couldn't come too."

He scoffed at that and turned to fix her with a disapproving frown.

"Yer a fool Rangiku. You should've gone wit' 'em. Shinigami don' ask just anyone to join without takin' the entrance exam first."

"So you knew about them?" she interjected.

He nodded hesitantly and averted her gaze, not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes. He'd known about all of it and he'd kept it from her. He was selfish and wanted her for himself. He'd never tried to hide that fact, but only now did it make him feel guilty. As much as he wanted her to stay, her place was not with him. She belonged with the two men still inside the tea house and allowing her to come with him would be wrong.

"You should go wit' them."

He held her gaze, his expression serious as he made one last attempt to convince her. When she stubbornly shook her head 'no' he sighed inwardly while another part of him rejoiced. For the time being at least, he could push the fear of being alone to a far and distant corner of his mind. For at least a little while longer he wouldn't have to share her, he wouldn't have to give her up. She was his and his alone – she belonged to him.

"Gin…I want to go home."

He didn't need to look at her face to see the pleading look she was giving him. He could hear it in the waver of her voice and feel it in the subtle way she gripped his arm tighter. With a nod he gave in and stood up, lazily brushing the dirt from his kimono. With one last glance over his shoulder at the tea house he retreated with Rangiku at his side back to the place they called home.

She didn't look back, not even once, the entire way home. He realized later, as he stared wide eyed at the roof of the cave, that her indifference towards Soul Society bothered him. She really had no idea what she was sacrificing to be with him. If she knew, she wouldn't have given it up so easily.

Turning his head he took in her sleeping form and made a resolution within himself. She would become a Shinigami - it was her destiny to become something greater than what she was. He would work hard, harder than he'd ever worked in his life. He would train until his body gave out if he had to, but he would build up his strength. He would become strong enough to pass the entrance exams and don the black uniform. He would become a Shinigami and she would be at his side. He would do it for her because there was no other way for him to make amends. He'd stolen her chance at happiness and he would make it right.

After that day Rangiku noticed a change in Gin. He was withdrawn and distant, but never cold. She couldn't help but feel like she could no longer reach a part of him that she had before. She wondered how much of it had to do with the Shinigami they'd met in the village and their offer for her to join Soul Society. Did he not want her with him anymore? He'd certainly done his best to convince her to go with them.

Not sure what else to do, Rangiku did her best to stay out of his way and cause as few inconveniences for him as possible. Sometimes he went almost an entire day without saying a word to her and others he disappeared completely. It was his disappearances which troubled her the most. At first she worried endlessly that he wouldn't return, but then he would. He'd appear sometimes long after dark, sometimes days later, but always he returned.

He never told her where he went or what he did and she never asked. She figured if he wanted to tell her he would. Whatever it was he was doing exhausted him completely. There were nights when he would stumble home and collapse on the floor in exhaustion, lacking the energy to even make it to his bed. On those nights she would discretely slip her pillow beneath his head and cover him with a blanket to keep out the cold.

He never thanked her, but he left small gifts next to her pillow each morning before he departed. Some days it was just a pretty stone, others it was some exotic fruit she'd never seen before. Each time it was a new surprise and she knew that through each of these gifts he was both apologizing to her and thanking her for staying with him. She treasured them all and stared at them often on the days when he was gone.

And so it was that life continued for them, one day at a time. The days blurred into months, and the months into years until the moment Gin decided it was time for them to leave. Looking at her triumphantly, with his hands on his hips, he smiled. He didn't smile often enough.

"Darlin' it's time to go," was all he said, but she knew instinctively what he meant. It was time to leave their home, time to abandon everything warm and familiar, and go to Soul Society. It was finally time to start their new lives as Shinigami – together.

---

**Updated Author's Note:** In response to some of the reviews I've received about this chapter, I figured it was time for an updated AN. I'd invite you to take a look at the publication dates for this story. When it started I didn't even read the Bleach manga.

I realize that this chapter doesn't coincide with recent manga revelations. Really though, it was never intended to. Scenes like Gin determining that Rangiku's birthday was the day they met were my own idea that just coincidentally happened to coincide with the manga chapters when they came out (cool, but not planned). I have no intentions of re-writing any part of this fic to make it "fit" with the manga.

Take it as is and enjoy the journey. Thanks!

- Langus


	5. A Pact With The Devil

Aizen was there from the beginning, or so he said. Lurking in the shadows he'd waited, biding his time until the moment was right.

He was calculating and meticulous – traits which irritated Gin's laid back nature endlessly. He had no use for Aizen, no need to seek control and supreme power the way he so desperately seemed to need it, but in the end he hadn't had a choice. In the end none of them had really had a choice, but no one seems to take a minute to consider that when they've already branded you a traitor.

That was nothing new either. He'd never made any secret as to where his loyalties laid. So it was no surprise that the moment Soul Society started to crumble it was him the others turned on with their narrowed eyes and razor sharp accusations.

It was no use trying to defend himself. He was hardly innocent and even if he were, the very fact he was from Area 78 alone was enough to condemn him. Somehow the others – Rangiku, Kenpachi, Renji, Hitsugaya – had managed to overcome their origins, but not him.

It was because of the whispers and the shifting eyes that followed him as he walked through the halls of the Shinigami Academy that he trained harder than he had ever thought possible. They may not trust him, they may openly dislike him and sneer at his face, but never would he give them cause to call him weak. He'd made a promise to himself and to Rangiku once and he would not break it.

When they were caught, Aizen proudly announced that he'd been working towards that moment from the very beginning. Being the egotist that he was he'd exaggerated the truth; it hadn't been from the beginning, but very nearly so.

oOo

Gin relaxed beneath the shade of one of the large oak trees that crested the hill on the edge of the Academy's training grounds. With one knee tucked into his chest, he casually rested his arm overtop and watched the dozen or so students sparring below.

There were many promising individuals, but his eyes settled on one in particular. Her face was determined as she blocked her opponent's strike and then landed one of her own across his shoulder. The boy cried out and clutched his shoulder while his arm hung limp at his side. Beaming, Rangiku cheered and turned to face him. Gin flipped his hand at her in a small wave and leaned his head back against the tree.

She was improving faster than he'd expected. She worked harder than many in her class but she made it seem effortless. The smile that constantly brightened her face was rarely absent and he was glad for it.

He'd been worried at first about how she would adapt to life at the Academy, but he realized now that his concerns were unfounded. Rangiku had taken to Soul Society like a fish to water, immediately warming the hearts of everyone she met and quickly making a name for herself. She was always cheerful, always eager and determined to prove herself.

He, on the other hand, had quickly earned himself a reputation for being quiet, sullen, and untrustworthy. He was motivated by nothing beyond his burning desire to prove himself to her. He needed Rangiku to know that he could and would protect her. The incident that had happened so many years ago, the one that brought them to where they were now, would never happen again.

Perhaps it was his selfish nature, or maybe it was just an overactive sense of pride, whatever the cause it drove him to excel where he'd once failed. He'd become strong where he once was weak. One day he knew she would stand in awe of his power. One day she would look upon him with those sapphire eyes and know that everything he had achieved, everything he had become, was for her.

Never again would the fear of death pass through the soulful seas of her eyes. He would sacrifice himself and everything he had before letting that happen. This was the promise he'd made all those years ago and he intended to keep it.

But life in the Academy hadn't started out easily for either of them. Within hours their arrival, they'd been separated into different classes. Impressed by his abilities at the entrance exam, the instructors had placed him in a higher class alongside the sons of the noble families – the 'future leaders of Soul Society' they called themselves. They turned their noses up the moment he entered the room, as if they were trying to avoid the reeking stench of his humble origins. The worst offender was Byakuya Kuchiki who refused to even look at him unless it was absolutely necessary.

Rangiku, though strong, had not trained her powers as he had and was put in a lower class. Thus, while he was working towards landing a placement as a Vice-Captain she was still training to develop her zanpakto. They hardly saw one another after that, separated into the different classes as they were, but he made an effort to watch her train whenever he had a spare moment. She seemed to appreciate his company, even though it was always from a distance, and made sure to wave or send a smile his way when she noticed him watching.

From the beginning they'd been forced into separate sleeping quarters which had been a new and wholly uncomfortable adjustment for them both. He hadn't realized how reliant he'd become on her until the first achingly quiet night he'd spent alone. In those first weeks he could hardly sleep for the lack of her presence. At night he tossed and turned endlessly, finding himself staring at the floor ahead of him, envisioning the smouldering remains of a fire and Rangiku's body curled up next to it.

He tried to tell himself that he was being ridiculous, that he didn't need her quite so much as he thought he did, but a small voice always reminded him that he was wrong. She'd become a part of him without his ever realizing it and now with her noted absence he felt the void more strongly than he ever thought possible. He was…incomplete, like a Shinigami without his zanpakto.

It wasn't until he'd been appointed to the Third Squad that she finally came to him. One night after hours of staring into space as his body fought sleep, the door to his room had quietly slid open. Sitting up he'd stared at her through the shadows.

The dim moonlight haloed around her body in the dark, blotting out her face and the large sapphire orbs he knew where peering at him. It wasn't until she closed the door that he finally made out her features; the smile on her lips, the dimple in her left cheek and the ever present gleam in her eye, and knew that this was no dream. She'd found him and she'd come back to him. He breathed a sigh of relief knowing that his fears of losing her were unfounded.

Rangiku stepped barefoot across the floor, her feet hardly making a sound against the tatami mats, before slipping beneath his covers. He wrapped his arm around her and she snuggled into his chest, her body cold from the night air.

Neither of them spoke since no words were necessary. They understood one another completely and it was finally on that night that Gin was able to let go and allowed his weary body to rest. He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so peacefully.

When he awoke she was, of course, gone but he was still thankful. In the soft light of the dawn he'd lain stretched out on his back and reconciled how he would reunite with her. Only one possible plan came to mind and he grasped at it naively, certain that it was the only answer.

He would train harder and become a Captain and she would become his Vice. In his mind it was a perfect plan, but Fate had a different story in mind. He couldn't know it yet though, and as he reminisced a smile graced his lips.

Gin was slowly drawn from his thoughts by the nagging touch of a powerful reiatsu. Turning, he glanced over his shoulder and his eyebrows lifted with surprise to see Captain Aizen standing next to him.

"Ah Ichimaru, might I join you?" he inquired, inclining his head towards him.

With a nod of his head Gin motioned to the grass next to him before turning his attention back to the practise field. He'd heard many people speak of this Captain Aizen. They praised him as if he could walk on water but he didn't understand why. He had yet to see anything to convince him of the Captain's greatness, much less give him a reason to respect him for anything other than the fact that he was a superior officer.

Just as the thought left his mind a suffocating wave of the Captain's reiatsu washed over him and he knew that it was akin to a slap on the wrist. He was being punished for his indifference but he refused to bow down like a meek whelp. Swallowing the lump that had formed in the back of his throat, he kept his eyes stubbornly glued to the horizon.

"I understand you're training to become a Vice-Captain." Aizen's voice was smooth and rich. His words washed over Gin and drew him in the way a rattlesnake teases its prey before striking.

Glancing at the Captain he nodded swiftly and allowed the placid smile to cross his features. He had grown so accustomed to that smile that it'd nearly become second nature. Though the rest of Soul Society may look down upon him, he kept the lazy grin on his face at all times just to spite them. He would never allow them to think that their words had been strong enough to break him. One day he would outshine them all and it was this thought which kept his crafty smile in place.

This was the smile he gave Aizen now and with a gentle flip of his wrist and a shrug of his shoulders he brushed off the comment.

"Who isn't? We've all got somethin' to gain from bein' here Captain."

Aizen nodded his head and chuckled at this comment, though Gin didn't fully understand why. His chest still rumbling with laughter, the Captain removed his glasses and slowly cleaned them with the hem of his uniform.

"How right you are. Tell me, have you had a chance to see my zanpakto?"

"Sorry no, and no thanks. The only zanpakto I'm interested in at the moment is my own."

Aizen's brows drew together at the finality in the Shinigami's words but he hid the expression by bowing his head to put his glasses on once more. This was going to be more difficult than he'd anticipated. He'd known from the start that Ichimaru Gin wouldn't be like the others, but now he realized just how different he truly was. The boy couldn't possibly know what he was planning, but the calculating gleam in his eyes unsettled him. He would have to use an entirely different line of reasoning with him.

Following Gin's gaze he watched the figure of Rangiku Matsumoto on the practise field below them. From what he understood, the two had arrived together from Area 78 a few years prior. Apparently they'd lived together outside the walls of Soul Society, but apart from that he understood very little about the parameters of their relationship.

The intensity of the young Shinigami's gaze as he watched the girl told him more than enough. Gesturing casually to the field he watched him intently.

"My, that Matsumoto certainly has done well for herself. I hear the other Captains speak very highly of her."

With satisfaction he saw the lines around Ichimaru Gin's mouth tighten almost imperceptibly, though his lazy smile did not falter. With a casual shrug he continued, "I hope she realizes just how hazardous being a full-fledged Shinigami can be. It's dangerous out there in the real world for one so young. She possesses such a bright light. It'd be a shame for it to be extinguished."

At those words Gin's ever present smile faltered and he turned a dark glare on Aizen. Though his words appeared innocent enough he had a feeling that there was more to it than that. Aizen's gaze shifted and he caught Gin's eye.

"Wouldn't you agree?"

The tone of his words sent a chill down the Shinigami's spine. The breath stalled in his lungs as his mind raced. He had to be jumping to conclusions. It was his overprotective feelings towards Rangiku that were making him think now that the Captain's words were anything more than a casual, offhanded and totally valid observation.

But no…he knew better. The world had taught him better and the smirk on Aizen's lips was enough to quell any further questions he might have had about the intent behind his words.

Gin's fingers tightened around the scabbard of his zanpakto and he moved to stand only to find his body paralyzed. He hadn't even seen Aizen cast a spell, hadn't even noticed a change in the atmosphere around him and yet it held him fast, stronger than any real restraints could be.

As he fought against Aizen's kido he could feel the air electrifying around him and knew that in his current state he was no match for the Captain.

"What do you want?" he demanded solemnly, knowing that despite Aizen's words, Rangiku was not who he was after. She was merely a pawn, just as they all would be eventually; a pawn in his quest for power, completely expendable and utterly ignorant of what was to come.

Relaxing back onto his elbows Aizen surveyed the view below them, satisfied that he had the lieutenant's undivided attention for the time being. Apparently this wouldn't be so difficult after all. Not when the boy's very existence depended upon one delicate slip of a girl whose giddy laughter floated up to reach their ears.

It was his own fault for making his devotion to her so blatantly obvious. Any idiot could have deduced that she was his Achilles Heel and he felt no remorse about exploiting that weakness to his own ends.

"Urahara is being expelled from Soul Society today. He will be publicly stripped of his rank at noon."

The comment was casual, offhanded, and Gin was completely lost as to its relevance. He remained silent, waiting for Aizen to continue but the only sound between them was the gentle breeze that suddenly picked up to send his hair into his eyes.

Straining his arms he realized that he was still paralyzed and relaxed once more in defeat. Heaving a frustrated sigh he cast his eyes towards Rangiku, if only to reassure himself that she was still alive and well. He would never let the bastard touch her. Judging by the powerful waves of reiatsu that were continually washing over him, no one in Soul Society could challenge Aizen least of all him.

"I don' care 'bout Soul Society's damn politics!" he bit out tersly. "Urahara is before my time. I don' give a damn 'bout him."

"You should," Aizen remarked cryptically.

"Urahara is being banished from Soul Society for his research. He created an untraceable gigai to hide his most impressive creation - the Hogyoku. Its power is unimaginable, far beyond anything you have ever seen, yet it is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand."

To illustrate his point Aizen glanced down at his own hand and opened his palm wide before closing his fingers into a tight fist. His eyes drifted shut momentarily as he imagined the hard shell of Hogyoku in his grasp.

After a moment of silence Aizen turned to his unwilling confidant and confessed his plan without hesitation. There was no need to fear that the boy would speak to anyone else. He made certain Gin knew what was at stake - the girl's life in exchange for his cooperation - it was a fair exchange if he ever saw one.

"I intend to find Hogyoku and use it to destroy Soul Society."

The blood pounded in Gin's ears as the meaning of Aizen's words sank in. _Destroy Soul Society?_ He hardly thought such a thing was possible. And even if it was, why would someone like Aizen want to destroy it? What would it prove? Considering the man's already overwhelming power, he couldn't comprehend how he fit into his plan. What purpose could he possibly serve?

"You are probably wondering why I need you," Aizen interjected suddenly as if reading his thoughts. Gin swallowed hard but made no move to answer.

"For now, you will be my Vice-Captain. All I need from you is your loyalty and your vow to follow my lead until this is over."

With that comment Gin's lazy smile returned and he rested his head back against the trunk of the tree at his back. _Cocky bastard_.

"My, my Aizen. Even you should understand that loyalty can't be forced. It's gotta be earned," he retorted rather smugly.

Aizen shrugged his shoulders haphazardly and picked up a budding dandelion from the grass. Rolling the small cottony tuft of silver seeds against his palm he considered Gin's words before ruthlessly crushing the flower within his fist. Opening his fingers he let what was left of the seedlings drift shakily into the breeze and wiped the rest against the pristine white cloth of his Captain's robe.

"Yes, but we both know you'll be loyal to me anyway. Anything to keep your pretty young friend out of trouble, am I right?"

Gin tsked and averted his gaze, his jaw working overtime as he clenched and unclenched it. Hate radiated throughout his body until he was practically shaking, but he was powerless to do anything but submit. He couldn't defeat Aizen alone and he doubted anyone would believe him if he did tell them of his plot to destroy Soul Society.

There are times when standing up for what's right is noble and brave, but this was not one of them. He had never been noble and though he was brave he wasn't stupid. If Aizen wanted to destroy Soul Society that was his business, his job was to protect Rangiku. If that meant becoming a part of Aizen's plot then so be it.

"Do you understand what's at stake, Gin?" the Captain demanded coolly as he pushed himself to his feet.

Gin's teeth ground together as he fought against the absolute loathing that coursed through him. He wanted to run the bastard through with a rusty blade for dragging Rangiku into this but he was powerless to stop him.

Swallowing his hatred of the man standing before him, he heard his voice bite out the one word that would seal his fate.

"Perfectly."

**Author's Note:** I know it's been forever since I updated this story. Please don't attack me!

I knew I had to bring Aizen in for this chapter and I wanted to get his convo with Gin just right...who knows it's probably all mucked up anyways but at this point I realized that if I didn't post what I had I wouldn't post anything at all and then I'd be stuck with yet another half finished story.

Hopefully you guys like what I wrote. From here the plot thickens. Please let me know what you think and in the meantime I'll do my best to be a little quicker with the updates.

Thanks for continuing to read this. Your reviews are really touching :) Until next time...


	6. A Captain is Born

A vicious streak of white hot lightning cut a jagged path across the sky. The dark clouds looming over Seireitei illuminated for the briefest of moments with its light before a crackling boom of thunder echoed off the nearby mountains. For three days the ominous storms had suffocated Soul Society's bright skies. It was a chilling warning of what was to come. Inside the pristine walls of Seireitei that rose up stark white against the blackened sky, the air was charged with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. A shinigami was about to be made a Captain.

Such an event only took place once or twice a century. For many young and power hungry shinigmai, it was a day they would always remember. It was the day when they would witness what it meant to find true rank and status within Soul Society; to be recognized and awarded for their sacrifices and achievements.

It gave them hope and encouragement to find the strength within themselves to press on, to pass each and every challenge thrown their way and discover their true potential. But today was not their day to shine in the spotlight. While a few may have been excited at the prospect of witnessing a bankai release, there were many who were not.

In the history of Soul Society's thirteen squads there had never been such open controversy over a candidate's worthiness. Certainly there had been times when not everyone agreed about a candidate's leadership potential, but never anything quite as open or hostile as this particular instance.

Closed door meetings dissolved into shouting matches, Captains openly threatened one another in the courtyard and it seemed to everyone that there was no hope for reconciliation. Ultimately, it was Yamamoto who determined that every candidate deserved the chance to prove his worth before his peers. Thus, it was with the support of the elder, Aizen and Tousen that Ichimaru Gin was begrudgingly allowed to prove his worth to Soul Society.

--

As he walked towards the examination ring, the determined cadence of his footsteps echoed off the marble floors of the hallway. Gin's expression was grim and his mind focused on one thing – Rangiku. All of the training, the sweat and the blood he'd sacrificed so he could reach this moment were for her.

Today he'd become a Captain and she would be his Vice. It was the way he'd planned their future from the moment they'd stepped over the threshold into this domain, as nothing more than a couple of rag-tag kids from Rukongai.

He was well aware of the controversy surrounding his potential appointment, but the details were of little interest to him. It came as no surprise that there were those with vehement objections. As Aizen's lapdog he'd had few opportunities to make any real acquaintances, and those he did make were soon quashed. It was the way Aizen liked things and it kept life uncomplicated.

Though he was obedient more by necessity than choice, Gin wasn't ignorant. He understood that there were reasons why he was given looks of scorn and disdain as he walked through the halls of Shinigami Academy and it had nothing to do with any act or offence he'd ever committed.

Through hypnosis, Aizen had convinced the rest of Soul Society to shun him. Though it seemed like a cruel and twisted punishment at first, Gin eventually realized that it was a rather intelligent and well planned tactical move. As an outcast he would be the most obvious scapegoat should things go awry. It would be no hard feat to convince the others that he was the one responsible should the plan ever be leaked.

Though Aizen's cunning had irked him at first, he soon found himself impervious to it. Why should he give a damn what happened to Soul Society? It wasn't as if they'd ever given a second thought to him. The only person who cared about him and the only one he trusted was Rangiku and she, thankfully, was still the same girl he'd always known.

Despite his deep-seeded hatred for Aizen, he was thankful to him for that small mercy. He wasn't sure how he could have continued on if he saw those same cold looks from her as well.

As the examination ring neared, his footsteps were swallowed by the excited buzz of the crowd in the stands. As if producing a bankai wasn't difficult enough, the added pressure of performing in front of an audience consisting of every shinigami and student within the Shinigami Academy ensured that only the best would succeed.

Gin had no apprehension about his task. He'd performed his bankai dozens of times for Aizen. The bastard had trained him harder than he'd ever trained in his life. He'd pushed him to the breaking point, nearly killing him on more than one occasion, until he finally reached the pinnacle of his power – the bankai.

Even training under Aizen, it'd still taken decades to learn how to perfect the move, to bend it to his will so that it became not just a weapon but a part of his soul. When he breathed, it breathed, when he craved the blood of his enemies, his bankai gave it to him. He hoped that one day it would be enough to take down the man he loathed more than life, the one he was forced to call "Captain".

One day he would kill him, but he had to take things one step at a time. This day was the first day on that journey, the one that would make all the other steps possible.

Gin's feet came to a halt at the threshold of the arena. Gazing up, his green eyes lazily observed the fact that not a single seat remained unoccupied. He should've felt flattered but he couldn't help the bitter taste that rose into the back of his mouth.

They all wanted to see him fail. They hadn't come to cheer him on or because they were in awe of his talents. They wanted to see Aizen's little lapdog fail his test so they could pat themselves on the back and reassure one another that they'd been right about him all along. He could practically hear their crowing already,

"That silver-haired freak from Rukongai? Of course he'd failed. Trash like him never should've been admitted in the first place."

Resting his hand on the hilt of his zanpakto, Gin couldn't stop the knowing smile from spreading across his features. Once the murmur of the crowd had quieted, he gathered himself and walked steadily to the centre of the ring.

The only sound to reach his ears was the sharp staccato rhythm of his heart as it beat adrenaline through his veins. The anticipation in the air was palpable, yet there was a complete absence of fear. He confidently squared his shoulders in defiance of the scrutinizing eyes all around him. It wasn't a question and there was no doubt in his mind – he would succeed.

There was a brief period during his training when he'd considered intentionally failing the test. If he failed, Aizen would no longer have any use for him; he'd be free from the stranglehold the Captain had on his life, or so he thought. Anticipating this betrayal, he'd been warned what the consequences of failure would be. He shuddered as Aizen's words crept to the forefront of his thoughts and shook his head to clear it.

No - failure was not an option. Turning, he nodded at the judges to signal he was ready. They greeted him with stony silence and impassive expressions, none offering any encouragement whatsoever.

Steeling one last calming breath, Gin drew his zanpakto from its sheath. The blade sang with pleasure as it was drawn and lifted to shine brightly beneath the vibrant stadium lights. He rotated his wrist to examine his blade while waiting for the simulation to begin. It was Hollows he was to fight, always Hollows.

When the first appeared, a grotesque hulking mass of white spirit energy, he stared up at it un-phased. There would be a dozen in total, or so Aizen had told him, one for every squad he had to prove himself to. He was required to use his zanpakto to defeat them and prove his skills were that of a Captain.

The beast released a primal scream, sounding uncannily like the real thing, and Gin wasted no time. With a single uttered command he sent his blade forward at lightning quick speed to pierce the creature's mask. He hadn't even bothered to move his feet.

He watched with satisfaction as the first Hollow fell away and disappeared, its cry of rage echoing through the arena. The faces of several of the younger Shinigami in the audience reflected their shock and horror. For many, this was their first time seeing a Hollow up close.

_One down, eleven to go_.

A small victory considering the challenges became progressively more difficult as the simulation continued. Turning in place he greeted the second Hollow with the same indifference. This one was snakelike in appearance, its large tail coiling behind it as it prepared to strike. He dispatched it within three moves, hardly a challenge for one who'd trained as hard as he had.

It wasn't until the fifth Hollow that the simulation became challenging. This one evaded his attacks and actually landed a strike that sent him hurtling backwards through the air towards the stands. He managed to catch himself just before his body careened into the spectators. Their shocked gasps echoed loudly in his ears as he pushed back into the ring.

He wondered if it was admiration he was hearing in their muttered curses and sharp inhales, or merely awe at the fact that he was still standing? Though the former would've been nice, he was fairly certain the majority of the audience felt no abundance of concern for his well being. With the exception of Rangiku and Aizen, he figured that nearly everyone had placed money on how many Hollows it would take before he was defeated.

The disgruntled faces he noticed out of the corner of his eye told him that with every Hollow he defeated he made new enemies. Not that he cared of course. What were a few more enemies when everyone already despised him?

The last simulation was the one that gave him the most trouble since it was designed entirely unlike its predecessors. Rather than one Hollow coming at you at a time, this one had four, each larger and more difficult than any of the others had been.

Using his zanpakto's second stage of release, he took out two of the smaller Hollows. He'd never considered that they were merely pawns designed to keep his attention diverted. As the dust of the first two Hollows fell in great billowing clouds, Gin turned to face his next two opponents and froze.

The larger of the two was the most imposing he'd seen thus far. Its body was massive, taking up nearly a third of the ring with great spiked horns protruding menacingly from its shoulders and mask. While this particular Hollow kept Gin occupied, the other lesser being darted through the air, its course set directly for Rangiku. That wasn't part of the simulation.

Knowing instinctively what was going on, he turned and glared murderously at the man he called Captain. Aizen's face remained impassive and disinterested, apparently un-phased by the unexpected turn of events.

Livid, Gin just barely noticed that despite Aizen's blatant disregard, several of the other Captains' eyes widened at the scene before them. Ukitake made a move to stand but he was stilled by Kyōraku's hand. It was against the rules to interfere no matter how dire the circumstances. If a Shinigami died taking the test then so be it. There was no room for failures in the upper echelons of Soul Society.

The sound of Rangiku's scream drew everyone's attention and they watched with numb shock as she was stolen from her seat. Though the simulation wasn't filled with true Hollows, the danger was just as real for anyone who happened to be trapped inside the ring without a zanpakto. The creatures were designed to show no mercy, to act as real Hollows would in every circumstance. If Gin did not save her, Rangiku would die.

Numbed with shock, the audience let out a mutual gasp of horror and shifted to the edge of their seats. There wasn't a single person in that theatre that didn't know or hadn't heard about the unique relationship between the two Shinigami in the ring. It was a mystery to them all exactly how two such opposite characters had ever become friends. Many were of the opinion that there wasn't any genuine affection there, that it was all for show, but even the detractors found themselves watching the scene breath-taken.

Though half hidden behind the cumbersome Hollow in front of him, Gin could still make out Rangiku's form trapped within the clutches of the second Hollow. It cried out triumphantly at its prize and stared with greedy dark eyes at the vibrant shinigami in his clutches.

_This is a test…they're testing me… To see how I act under pressure_, he tried to reason, but he couldn't calm the rage that shook his limbs. _How dare they involve her in this!_

This was his fight, his test! Not hers; it'd never been her battle. Feeling the adrenaline coursing through his veins, Gin pointed his sword at the Hollows before him and confidently whispered the word everyone had waited so anxiously to hear.

"Bankai…"

The audience appeal toward watching such a test had much to do with the experience of witnessing a shinigami's bankai. It was fascinating to see how it materialized, what form it took and how it moved. The bankai, like the zanpakto, was one with the Shinigami who called upon it. It reflected a part of their true nature and the strength hidden within the very core of their being. For some this meant large violent displays of energy and for others it was a quiet, confident power that appeared in simple, less flashy designs.

The latter type were the most dangerous and unnerving to witness. When a shinigami had a large bankai it was easy to predict what their next move would be. The larger weapons were slower to move and harder to manipulate. Smaller bankais had a tendency to be lighting fast and razor sharp. When greeted with such a blade one often found himself impaled before he even realized the zanpakto's final release was complete.

Such was the situation facing the two unfortunate Hollows standing before Ichimaru Gin. His face hidden from the prying eyes of the crowd, all they could see was the ever present fox smile on his lips before the winds of reiatsu exploded around him, hiding his body from their view.

The sheer force of power emanating from him was enough to blow the roof directly off the arena. The building immediately darkened, lit only by the brief flashes of lightning that cut across the sky and the glow surrounding his zanpakto.

The irate cries of the two remaining Hollows echoed loudly in the darkness and sent chills of fear running down the spines of everyone who heard them. Where there had once been mixed anticipation and excitement in the crowd, there now existed only fear. Thick and palpable, it hung heavy on the air and suffocated the room. Shinigami clung to one another, shivering beneath the pressure of the reiatsu at the centre of the ring.

The cloud of dust circling throughout the arena began to settle as Gin's reiatsu focused into his blade. When he lifted his head they noticed instantly that the ever-present smile on his lips was gone. A grim frown offset the brilliant piercing green of his eyes. Eyes that'd always remained closed to the world were now open and glaring murderously at the Hollows still in the ring.

For such an elaborate display of power, the end result of Gin's bankai was somewhat disappointing for those watching. He remained unchanged and his sword appeared much the same as it had before. Like its owner, there was nothing special or remarkable about it.

Before the audience had a chance to make backhanded whispers to their neighbours about such things, the defeated cries of two hollows rang out through the darkness. A massive streak of lightning briefly illuminated the chilling scene. Though simple in design, Gin's zanpakto had split from the hilt into thousands of long, razor sharp piercing blades. Faster than many would've been able to see, even those of the Captain rank, his blade had travelled forward into the dark, splitting mid-journey to impale both unfortunate victims simultaneously.

While this feat was impressive by any means, what had the audience staring in horror was the one wayward blade that'd somehow broken away from the others and forged a path directly for Captain Aizen. Somehow through the darkness he'd sensed the blade, blocking it effortlessly with this own before it could strike him down.

Unconcerned with the Hollows, Gin's murderous glare remained fixed on Aizen. He scoffed at the fact that his attack his been thwarted so effortlessly and quickly retracted all the blades back into one single sword. Allowing his face to lift into its usual foxy smile he nodded in Aizen's direction.

"Someone's gotta keep ya on your toes…Captain."

Aizen didn't comment and his face remained impassive but Gin understood that there would be consequences for his actions. After a quick glance to ensure that Rangiku had made it to safety, he averted her wide, tear-filled eyes. The air inside the ring was deathly still. The audience collectively held its breath, afraid that even the slightest movement would break the spell he'd cast over them.

Satisfied that he'd at least accomplished part of his mission, Gin lowered himself to the sandy floor and sheathed his zanpakto rather anti-climactically at his hip. At that moment the Heavens above unleashed their watery burden upon all of Soul Society.

With the roof gone the entire arena was left open to suffer beneath the ice cold, pelting rain. Gin turned his face skyward and allowed the water to beat down against his skin and soak into his hair. It was a perfect way to end it.

Without awaiting further instructions from the other Captains, he stalked out of the arena leaving the crowd behind him drenched and speechless. The division Captains exchanged apprehensive glances with one another, but none could deny what they'd seen. He'd used his bankai and defeated the entire simulation almost effortlessly.

There was no reason they could find to deny him what he'd earned, a fact that settled uneasily in many of their stomachs. Despite having no proof he'd done any wrong, doubt still lingered in many of their minds.

If they could've accused him of somehow faking his bankai they would have, just to avoid putting someone like him into a position of power, a position which could potentially endanger all of Soul Society should he ever decide to betray them. The thought sent shivers down their spines that had nothing to do with the ice cold rain pelting their heads, and yet they could find no viable cause to deny him.

And so it was that on that day, Ichimaru Gin became the Third Division Captain.


	7. Reconciliation

_Several Years Later…_

The cold rain pelted hard against her fair skin. Its heavy, wet burden soaked into her robes and left her bouncy curls hanging in limp tendrils across her shoulders. Despite the way her thin frame shivered and her hands rubbed idly at the goose bumps covering her arms, the brash wind continued to whip at her body.

Her feet remained stubbornly rooted to the earth, refusing to make even the barest movement forward or back. Eyes that always glinted as if secretly laughing at some hidden joke were now wide and unusually sad as they gazed up at the source of her sombre mood.

_When did I lose him?_

It was the question she'd been asking herself all day. What day? At what time? And for what reason? She didn't have the answer to any of her questions. She'd never had cause to doubt the unique bond they shared, but now she wondered if she'd allowed herself to be played a fool.

He hadn't come. On the most important day of her life he was noticeably absent and she couldn't decide how to feel about it. Hurt? Angry? Relieved? Standing drenched in the rain while staring up at his darkened window, she found herself wondering if perhaps she'd been mistaken all along. Perhaps she'd seen what she wanted to see in him, took from their relationship what she needed to feel content and ignored the rest. So much time wasted…

When had she allowed herself to become so blind to the truth?

She'd always managed to brush off the crude comments aimed at him by the other shinigami. They whispered about him, some more openly than others, but everyone had their own skewed opinion of Captain Ichimaru Gin. She'd always managed to brush off their persistent inquiries and outright accusations with a casual, light-hearted laugh, but she couldn't do it any longer.

Rangiku shook her head slowly, refusing to believe the words of the others. They were wrong, they had to be. He was still her friend…wasn't he? Had he ever given her cause to doubt his intentions before now?

_No…but he hasn't exactly been around either,_she reminded herself bitterly.

She swallowed hard and briefly tore her gaze from the window, fixing it instead on the small pool of rainwater at her feet. The raindrops torpedoed into it like tiny missiles, upsetting the delicate calm. The rain felt cool against her skin and reminded her of that night so many decades ago…the night when he'd become a Captain. Thinking back, she realized that it was on that dark, rainy night, a night so much like this one, that he'd changed.

She hadn't wanted to admit it before. Admitting things had changed between them wasn't a reality she'd been ready to accept before now. Accepting it would've forced her to admit that she'd been naïve enough to think that they would last within Seireitei's white washed walls.

She hadn't been ready before but today's events forced her to this place. She couldn't deny it any longer - things _had_ changed and she'd done nothing to stop it.

After that night when he'd successfully completed his epic battle in the ring, he'd become colder and more withdrawn than ever before. She couldn't understand why he was pushing her away. When she asked about it he'd smile and brush off her questions with a joke or a wave of his hand. Over time she'd seen him less and less. She'd put it off to busy schedules and Captain work at first, but it was hard not to notice that he was like a ghost in Sereitei these days. She hardly saw him at all and when she did he always gave her the same long look, like he wanted to say something but couldn't.

But it wasn't until today that she'd know for sure... Earlier in the afternoon she'd officially become an officer of the Tenth Division. What should've been the happiest day of her career was overshadowed by the knowledge that _he_hadn't come.

Exhausted, hurt and tired of fighting back angry tears, all she wanted to know now was why? This man, whoever he was, was not someone she recognized. Though Gin had always been a bit aloof, his impassioned attitude had never been directed towards her. There'd always been a certain warmth in his smile or a lilt in his voice when they spoke. She missed their casual familiarity and the way she used to discover his secrets with hardly any effort at all.

It felt like they were little more than strangers now, passing by one another like ghosts unseen in the night. She was unaccustomed to being brushed aside like an old childhood toy that'd been outgrown and discarded.

Reality stung far more harshly than the rain against her skin, which was why she remained where she stood. She'd been there perhaps a quarter of an hour trying to decide whether to confront him or not. Should she even bother? Would he be able to provide her with the answers she so desperately needed?

A part of her said yes. Even if her only reward was a little closure and peace of mind it seemed right to go to him. The other side of her conscience vehemently refused to notion. It reminded her of just how painful it would be to hear the words of rejection she'd conjured up in her head spew from his ever-smiling mouth.

When the rain suddenly ceased its incessant rhythm upon her damp head, Rangiku hazarded a glance up at the sky. With her arms still hugging her body to drive out the cold, she noticed the dark shadow of an umbrella extended above her head and her eyebrows lifted curiously. Glancing back over her shoulder she saw a comforting sight, the smiling face of Captain Ukitake.

"It's a bit wet out to be going for a walk Matsumoto. Don't you agree?" he questioned genially.

A warm smile lit his lips but the flash of understanding behind his dark eyes told her that he'd pieced together far more about her current predicament than she would've liked. She swallowed down her bitterness and pain and made her best effort to return his smile.

"I just needed some fresh air to clear my head. The offices get stuffy on nights like these," she lied easily.

For posterity's sake she kept up the small talk charade, wondering all the while what he really wanted to say. In the end he said nothing. He stood by her side in the rain with his arm extended to hold the umbrella over her head, and stared up at the sky in contemplative silence.

"You shouldn't be outside in this weather," she cautioned, her eyes glancing nervously up at Gin's darkened window.

Ukitake chuckled light-heartedly, his eyes following hers. "I could say the same to you Matsumoto! If this disease hasn't killed me yet I hardly think a little rain will do me in."

Sparing him a wary glance, Rangiku nodded and sucked in a slow, steady breath. The moist air tickled her lungs and made her feel just as damp inside as she was out. She had just about convinced herself to leave when Ukitake piped up once more.

"Matsumoto…," he began cautiously, "I don't pretend to know what's happened between you and Captain Gin, but I'd like to offer a word of advice if I may?"

He paused politely and waited for her to accept. When she nodded her head distractedly he let his gaze settle on the window belonging to the Captain of the Third Division, Ichimaru Gin.

"Shunsui and I have been friends for a long time, long before we met you and Gin at the market in Rukongai. I'd be lying to you if I said it's been easy to remain friends in this place, but it's not impossible. It takes work. It's a challenge, but one I think you can surpass if you so desire."

He let out a laboured cough, an effect of his ever-present wasting sickness, and shot her an apologetic grimace.

"I suppose what I'm trying to say is don't give up on him just yet. Everyone can use a friend here and while you have many to choose from he can't stand to lose even one. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Rangiku nodded her head slowly. Turning to Captain Ukitake she offered him a small smile and bowed her head in thanks. Squaring her shoulder she sucked in a quick breath to gather her nerve and abandoned the shelter of his umbrella for the Third Division quarters.

--

His room was dark. It reminded her of the impenetrable pitch black of the cave on the nights when the moon was hidden.

The silence hung thick on the air like a heavy blanket, muffling all life within the rice paper walls. Putting one foot over the threshold Rangiku paused and held her breath. Her heart hammered inside her chest and her palms felt clammy against the doorframe.

_Why am I being like this?_ she wondered in frustration and irritably wiped the sweat from her palms onto the damp fabric of her robes. They felt heavy against her body, weighted down as if they were trying to drag her into Hell itself.

Letting out an uneasy sigh, she took one more step forward and let her eyes adjust to the dim light within the room. Her sapphire orbs panned from one dark corner to the next in search of the silver mop of hair that had the ability to stand out in any crowd, yet it was nowhere to be seen.

Again he was absent, just as he'd been before and she felt her heart drop. Letting go of her disappointment, she took the opportunity to explore the room of a man she no longer knew who disguised himself as her friend.

His bed was neatly made, the edges of the blanket tucked beneath the futon mattress. The single desk against the far wall was clear except for a pot of ink and a meticulously neat stack of papers in the top left hand corner. Everything seemed to have its proper place and home and as she stared around the immaculately clean room, so unlike her own, Rangiku began to wonder where she fit into his neat and orderly life. It was then that her eye caught sight of a glimmer on the windowsill.

Stepping over to it, she picked the trinket up in her hands and examined it in the dim light. It was a small crystal, no bigger than her thumb and dusty pink in colour. Its surface was contoured by various peaks and rippling waves that made its appearance wholly unique.

As she stared at it the wheels in her head turned and churned out memory after memory until at last she gasped with surprise and recognition. On its own it seemed inconsequential, simply a pretty rock for decoration, but for her it was so much more than that.

This rock, simple yet beautiful in design, was one of the trinkets he'd given her when they were children, long before they'd ever entered Seireitei's walls. He always collected little gifts for her and as she turned the stone over in her palm she remembered it vividly.

It'd always been her favourite because the stone's dusty pink hue was her favourite colour. He'd found it in the belly of a shallow cave, dug it out, and given it to her. On the day they'd left their home forever she'd looked for it for hours with eyes blinded by desperate tears. She'd never found the keepsake and was admittedly surprised to discover that the elusive gem had been in Gin's possession all along.

Turning the rock between her fingers she reflected on how it felt as though a lifetime had passed since those long, hot days they'd spent together in their youth. In truth, a lifetime had gone by. She couldn't accept that the person she was now was the same timid child who'd met a kind, if badly beaten, boy on the outskirts of Rukongai. It was so many years ago and yet here sat a piece from her past, rather their past, as vibrant and new as if it'd been only yesterday.

The rock's presence and wild shape seemed out of place in the neat and tidy room, but she gently set it back in place without a second though. The rock, no matter how inconsequential it appeared to be, answered her questions without a single word being uttered. As long as he held onto this piece of their past, she knew there was still a place for her in his heart.

For whatever reason Gin had pulled away, it wasn't because he didn't want anything to do with her. That was apparent to her now. So the only question left to ask was why? Why push her away if that wasn't what he wanted?

"Ran-chan! You shoulda told me you were comin' over!"

Rangiku jumped at the sound of his voice behind her and spun on her heel to face him. He stood grinning at her from the doorway, wearing the same fox smile he wore around the others.

For a moment Rangiku found herself at a loss for words and stared mutely at him as he stepped inside the room. Her body was frozen but her eyes followed him as he moved slowly from lamp to lamp. Soon the room was basked in the dull yellow glow of candle light. When he turned to her again, smile still in place, she looked away. She couldn't bear to see the smile he wore for the others grinning at her.

"You didn't come…," she whispered softly. It wasn't a question, more a statement of fact – one he couldn't deny. She stared hard out the window, refusing to look at him.

"Come where Ran-chan?"

"No!" She cut in sharply, turning on him. Despite her best efforts to be strong, her eyes brimmed with unshed tears. Narrowing her eyes at the way his brow rose with confusion she shook her head.

"No! Don't play these games with me Gin! You didn't come and I want to know why. I deserve at least that don't I?"

The fox smile slipped from Gin's face as he read the blatant anger and pain shining in her eyes. Did she really think so little of him? Unable to give her the answers she wanted, or the explanation she rightfully deserved, he regarded her in silence. In the long, drawn out pause that followed the sound of the rain on the roof could be heard, pounding in its steady rhythm - it hadn't let up even for a moment.

"Gomen nasai…." he muttered, his voice so soft it was nearly drowned out by the rain.

Rangiku's eyes narrowed and she folded her arms across her chest. It wasn't enough. She wanted an explanation, not an apology. She wanted to know what'd happened to the boy she used to know. Who was the man standing before her now that she hardly recognized at all?

There were snippets of the old Gin there, in the squint of his eyes and the tousled shag hair he tossed out of his eyes. There were bits of him there, but they barely made up a tangible part of the whole. There were so many secrets hanging between them now, so much more silence, and she needed it to be filled with answers.

"I want you to tell me what you've been up to. This isn't like last time. I can't just turn my head and ignore it anymore. What's happened to you Gin? Tell me!"

Realizing that she was getting dangerously close to forbidden territory, Gin laughed a hearty, mirthless laugh and gave her a broad false smile.

"Gin is Gin! That's all ya gotta know," he joked elusively. "Does Ran-chan still like pink?"

Rangiku nodded reluctantly but remained wary of the fact that he was obviously trying to divert her attention away from some hidden truth. The walls were still up and the secrets blocked him in on all sides like a prison designed to shut her out. She felt hopeless and utterly defeated. The knowledge that he didn't trust her stung more than the fact that he hadn't attended the officiating ceremony. It never occurred to her that he was protecting her from herself and the truth that would mean certain death if she unearthed it.

"Thought so," Gin interjected cheerily though the smile on his lips didn't quite reach his eyes. He slipped his hand inside his robe and withdrew a neatly folded pile of pink satin. With a nod he held it out to her and Rangiku eyed it warily.

"A gift…for becomin' an officer…"

Rangiku stared breathless at the smooth pile of satin sheen and gingerly reached her hand out to take it from him. Her fingers brushed against his for the briefest of moments, sending a shock of surprise up her arm. It was the first time they'd touched in months and her eyes peered curiously at his face in search of something. His features betrayed no surprise at the contact and a moment later his hand was pulled from her reach.

The heavy pool of pink satin in her hand was warm from where it'd been nestled close to his body. She unfolded it appreciatively and held it up to the lamplight. An unstoppable smile found its way to her lips as she brought the sash to rest across her shoulders.

It was pink, soft, beautiful and girlish – it was exactly something she would've wanted, a perfect gift. She may not know who Gin was anymore, but he understood her perfectly and that reassured her somewhat.

Anger forgotten, Rangiku squealed in delight and leapt at the dour faced Captain, wrapping him in a sopping wet, but enthusiastic, hug.

"Ah, so you like it?" Gin observed with a genuine smile as he pushed her away. He glanced down at his now damp robes and shrugged, his nose wrinkling as he realized that he now smelled like a wet dog.

Shrugging out of the white outer robe that marked his Captain status, he tossed it onto a nearby hook and made his way towards a small cupboard in the corner.

"Sake?" he asked politely over his shoulder, though he already knew what her answer would be. No one could hold their liquor quite like Rangiku. As expected she let out another delighted squeal and settled herself at the cheaply crafted table near the window, her fingers unconsciously stroking the smooth silk of her new scarf in appreciation.

The sky was turning grey with the morning's light by the time the pair finished their last bottle of sake. Rangiku let out a very un-ladylike belch and tossed the empty bottle to the side to join the others in the slowly accumulating pile.

"You sure you don't have any more?" She demanded suspiciously and pointed an accusing finger at him.

Despite having drunk nearly as much as his guest, Gin appeared remarkably composed. With only a slight swagger to his movements he tore his gaze from the window and fixed Rangiku with a curious stare. He chose not to answer her question and instead posed one of his own.

"Why Ten?"

"What?" Rangiku's eyes blinked wide and stared at him, bleary and unfocused.

"You coulda joined Three…," he suggested, letting his words die off.

He hadn't wanted to mention it but the sake loosened his tongue and he was too far gone now to take it back. He waited through the uncomfortable silence for her response, hoping that whatever she said would ease his curiosity or at least the gnawing anxious worry that nagged at the back of his mind. His gut told him what her answer would be but he sincerely hoped it was wrong.

"Psshh… Your squad was full of course!"

"What?" Gin couldn't hide the look of shock that washed over his features.

"Yeah!" Rangiku continued on, oblivious to his distress. "Captain Aizen told me Squad Three was all full up," she offered with a light hearted shrug. "But Ten had room so in I went!"

Gin's eyes narrowed and he turned his face away to hide the scowl that darkened his features. Aizen…the bastard…again he was interfering! He quickly gained control of his emotions and smiled at Rangiku when she shot him a watery grin.

"Oops… Musta forgot," he lied sheepishly and she giggled at him.

With a heavy sigh she glanced at the light grey sky outside and let out a frustrated groan.

"I should go…time to start work. Can't be late on my first day!"

With a swagger Rangiku pushed herself to her feet and gave Gin an exaggerated salute. He nodded at her and watched her stumble to the door.

"Bye bye Captain!" she called over her shoulder with a flippant wave and then her golden locks and vibrant pink scarf were swallowed by the darkened hallway.

Gin's took a long hard look at the empty doorway as if he half expected her to return. When she didn't he looked outside instead, his hands folded in front of him on the table. As dark thoughts clouded his sake muddled mind the sky outside began to lighten. The morning sun showed its face for the first time in days, sending a bright ray of yellow gold to burn off the mist hiding Seireitei from the world.

Like the clouds that slowly dissipated, Gin's dreams of what his life with Rangiku should've been faded. Gone were his dreams, his peace of mind and his hope for salvaging the future along with it. All that was left now was the bitter and unavoidable knowledge of what was to come and what he still had left to lose.

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**Author's Note:** Thank you everyone for your patience and your wonderful reviews. I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out but it's a nice long one so hopefully it was worth the wait. Please take a moment to leave a review and let me know what you think. Until next time…


	8. Bitter Farewell

Sōkyoku Hill stood out from the rest of Soul Society. Its peak jutted out from the hillside like a barren tomb, a hallmark of Death, to stand as a constant reminder to those below that they were never completely out of its reach. The wind-swept plains echoed with the voices of those souls it had destroyed in the name of justice. Life could not survive here; even the air itself was arid and suffocating. It was a place where hope came to die. No one went willingly to Sōkyoku Hill and yet there they were, dutifully gathered around that pillar of destruction.

Rangiku remembered what it was like to exist in a place like this. At the time it'd nearly killed her, but she'd survived because of a boy. A boy who'd been lost and alone, much like herself. Together they'd survived and eked out a meagre existence. Together they'd formed a family and together they'd ventured to Sereitei to make a better life for themselves. Together… They'd always been together, but today they stood apart.

For the second time in her life, Rangiku felt torn over her loyalty to Ichimaru Gin. When they were children she'd chosen him over a life lived within Seritei's pristine walls. She'd never regretted her decision. He'd saved her, protected her and given her a home. In him she'd found the part of herself that'd always been missing. She'd never let someone so close to her heart. For her entire youth he was all she knew. Their happy, humble existence in a cave in the barren wastelands outside of Rukongai had been idyllic and satisfying.

Now older and wiser, she realized how naïve she'd been to think that that sort of life could've made her happy forever, but she couldn't bear to part with the memories. She missed the Gin she'd known then. His spirit had been so vibrant. It'd shone like a beacon of light in that place that was so devoid of it. Back then she wouldn't have hesitated. She would've done anything for him, no matter how ridiculous or foolish, because he was all she had and all she knew.

Not much had changed over the years. All they'd ever had was each other and despite the years that'd past, it still felt like it was just the two of them. He was the only one who knew her, the only one she trusted, and after today he would be gone.

Rangiku closed her eyes in resignation and blew out the stale air choking her lungs. Today she had to make a choice. For months he'd been a ghost, slipping in and out of her life as it pleased him, just as he'd always done, but now she finally understood why.

The secrets he'd shielded himself with were crumbling down and for the first time she saw the horrific truth of what he'd been hiding from her. She hadn't wanted to believe it at first. In her mind she'd vehemently defended him, made up excuses for why and how this could've happened, but the blood of the Inner Council staining the walls of the Central 46 Chamber washed away the veil of ignorance clouding her eyes and heart.

_What has he become?_

She begged the question in her mind while asking herself if he was even capable of doing such a thing. The more she thought about it the clearer the answer became. For a long while she tried to deny it, but faced with the evidence she simply couldn't any longer. She found herself admitting the horrifying truth that yes, he was capable of such a thing and what scared her most was that it didn't surprise her.

The Gin she'd known all her life, the boy she'd grown up with, laughed with and leaned on when she cried had long since disappeared. Despite her stubborn persistence to convince herself otherwise, she hadn't seen that Gin for quite some time. He'd gone somewhere she could not follow and left her far behind.

Rangiku stood still, her feet rooted to the parched earth, and tried to ignore the nagging guilt that swirled in her chest. The dust plumed around their bodies in great billowing clouds that burned her eyes and choked her lungs, but she held him fast, her blade at his throat.

_How did it come to this?_ she begged silently.

What made him choose this path? And why…why had he chosen to walk it without her? She wanted answers but knew they would never come. Whatever happened after this moment, the Gin she knew was dead.

She wanted to weep but the dust dried her tears. He'd lied to her. For so many months and years he'd kept this hidden from her. He'd forced her to choose between her loyalty to him and to Soul Society. It wasn't out of anger or vindictiveness that she acted now, but a sense of duty. She had a duty to her squad and to those that'd trained her and befriended her over the years. As much as she loved him, she couldn't forgive him for what he'd done.

What she wanted to do was save him. She clung to the inane idea, the long-shot hope, that she could still do it if given the chance. Perhaps she could change him, save him as he'd once saved her. There were so many possibilities in her mind, ways to fix what seemed unfixable, but for once her heart didn't rule her actions. Her logical mind told her that he was beyond saving and her body listened. The sharp edge of her blade did not waver and her grip on his wrist never loosened. She'd chosen her side and was prepared to stop him at all costs, regardless of the fact that it would utterly destroy her inside.

This wasn't about her anymore. It wasn't about him either, or the relationship they'd once shared and the trust he'd broken. The only thing that mattered was saving the lives of the innocent ones, the men, women and children living within Soul Society who'd never done any wrong, the people who deserved a chance to make something of themselves, who had the right to be happy and feel loved. She couldn't let him take that away, not when she could stop him.

Having no other recourse and completely unwilling to fight her, Gin offered himself up willingly as her prisoner. He didn't struggle, merely accepted his fate as he saw it and waited patiently along with her for what would come next. She couldn't know that this moment would be the last they shared together. The next time they happened to cross paths, it would be as sworn enemies. She would be bound by duty to kill him and he was fairly sure Aizen expected the same performance from him. When that time came, as it most certainly would, he had no intention of acquiescing. He would rather die by her hand than continue suffering an existence as her enemy.

Knowing the grim future that awaited him, he lingered in her embrace, as rough as it was, and tried to take from it every last vestige of warmth and comfort possible. He would miss her. Where he was going she could not follow and the knowledge of that made his impending departure all the more foreboding. He was nothing without her.

Had he been given the choice, he would've gladly remained where he was, with her arms wrapped around him for all eternity but no one had ever asked him what he wanted. Aizen's pawns weren't allowed voices or opinions of their own and so he was trapped, branded as a traitor along with the rest and forced to make the one friend he had an enemy.

What bothered him most weren't the looks of scorn cast his way by the other Shinigami, but the strained tension he felt in her grip. What must she think of him now? Did she hate him for betraying her? Did she despise him like everyone else? He didn't want to think about the many ways her heart would harden against him.

Had he been stronger, had he killed Aizen sooner, if he'd never bowed to him at all, they wouldn't be in this position now. His weakness had cost them everything and he hated himself for it. Hated himself for knowing that he'd hurt her and remained utterly disgusted by the fact that he was still too weak to do anything about it.

Given their situation, he pitied the position she was in. He never could've done it, held the edge of his blade to her throat, but then her will had always been stronger than his. She would survive because of what he'd agreed to do, but their relationship would not. The damage was done and nothing he did or said could un-do the crimes he'd committed against her. It hardly seemed fair in his eyes, but then life hadn't exactly been fair where he was concerned.

When that final moment came, the one he'd been dreading as they waited amidst the tense atmosphere on the crest of the cliff, he begrudgingly faced his fate. The moment the Negación descended from the skies to envelop him, he felt her let go and a part of him went with her. As the warmth of her touch vanished the cold set in - a deep, penetrating chill that haunted him to his very core. He recognized it instantly as the emptiness that fills you when all hope is lost.

With the loss of her touch went every part of him worth redeeming. He could feel the warmth leaving him, evaporating from his body like a puddle of water on a hot day. It was as this part of him faded that he turned to face her, intent on telling her at least one truth before he left. There had been many times when he'd hidden it from her over these past years, for her own good or his own, but now would not be one of them.

"I wouldn't have minded being your prisoner a little while longer."

The confession was honest, the most honest thing he'd said to her in a long time. It came from his heart, the one part of his body Aizen could not manipulate.

She stared up at him, her mouth agape, but no words came from her lips. He wished she would speak so he could hear her voice one last time, but she remained mute and he figured it was just as well. What right did he have to ask anything of her now?

With his fate sealed and the inevitable weighing upon him, he spoke the only words he had left to say and though they were small they were the most important for her to hear.

"Gomen nasai."

It was a simple apology, yet encompassed within those two words was everything he didn't have time to say:

_I'm sorry for lying to you_

_I'm sorry I betrayed you_

_I'm sorry I've hurt you_

_I'm sorry I can't stay_

_I'm sorry I won't be there to protect you_

_I'm sorry you can't come with me_

_I'm sorry life didn't turn out for us the way I'd planned_

_I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to defeat him on my own_

_I'm sorry I've made you an enemy_

_I'm sorry for all the times I pushed you away when I should've let you in_

_I'm sorry for everything and anything I've ever done that made your smile waver, including today._

_I'm sorry_…

He'd left too many things unsaid. Rangiku understood his heart and true nature better than anyone. Only she would know the meaning behind his words and hear all the others whispered behind them. If not, then he would understand the hatred shining brightly in her eyes whenever they next met. It wasn't her fault. How could she possibly know that it'd all been for her?

As he felt the darkness creeping in and saw Soul Society slowly drift away below him, Gin's eyes remained fixed on her. He'd somehow navigated the minefield of Aizen's web and come out on the other side, ensuring she would remain safe and alive. He'd never resent her for it, being happy without him that is. She deserved at least that much. He didn't even want to think about what kind of man he would've become were it not for her hearty laughter and easy smiles.

A triumphant smile lifted the corners of his mouth. The last thing he saw of that bright world below was a pair of vibrant sapphire eyes staring up at him. He clung to that image, relishing in his one small victory. He may be a condemned man, but for the moment, at least, that memory would be enough to sustain him. Someday he would see those eyes again and when it came, he sincerely hoped it would be his last.

Far below, Rangiku gazed up at Gin's retreating form with unblinking eyes.

_You foolish man._

Her body was numb. The world around her suddenly faded to black and in the darkness the only sound she heard was the faint rattling of the zanpakto at her side.

_I'm trembling_, she realized, _I'm shaking all over like a scared little kid._

But it wasn't fear that had her fists clenched painfully tight at her sides. The bitterness swept through her like a poison, fuelled by the anger and hurt that clenched her heart in a vice.

_I'm sorry…_

His last words rang clearly in her mind and her next ones, whispered harshly into the wind, sounded as raw as she felt inside. They were words she'd never thought she'd utter when it came to him, but they were the only truth she knew and the only feeling left she could trust.

What once was would never be again and that painful admission, spoken so quietly from her lips, let her know that what they once had was forever broken.

"I hate you."

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**Author's Note:**Finally a new post! I've been working on this chapter for a while, trying to get it just right. I wasn't even sure if I should write about this scene but in the end I figured it had to be done. I hope you enjoyed it. There's one chapter left to this saga so please stay tuned. Until next time…


	9. Redemption, At Last

**Author's Note 1: **This chapter is best read while listening to "The Frightening Reality" by Moneen during the fight scene, "The Song I Swore To Never Sing" (also by Moneen) during the flashbacks, and "Colourblind" by Counting Crows at the end. (All songs should be available at songza. com).

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It was the kind of night one would describe as haunting; foggy, damp, too quiet to feel safe. The cool air was the type that clung to your clothes and seeped right down the bone, chilling from the inside out. The moon hid, no more than a glimmer behind clouds that blotted out the stars. It was the kind of night where people stayed indoors, tucked in their beds, protected from the world. The kind of night when things happen, people change and souls are laid bare.

Amidst the fog ghosts hid their gleaming white faces; lurking in the shadows, searching for prey. They howled at the moon, demanding the souls of the innocent. A retinue of soul reapers ran down the street dressed in black, swords drawn, ready to face down the evil that awaited them. They showed no fear, suffered no hesitation. They'd been trained for this moment and every single one of them wanted their moment to shine like a beacon in the night and prove their worth to the world.

The hollows fell beneath their righteous blades, faces cleaved, bodies pierced, and one after the other they were vanquished. One dark soldier, eyes the colour of the night sky, watched the comings and goings below her with mild disinterest. Her mind was preoccupied, restless; she fidgeted and shifted her feet. Something was going to happen on this night, every part of her felt it – even her skin tingled with the rush of anticipation. She had a feeling she knew what it was but refused to admit it to herself and pushed the unsettling thought from her mind.

Her foot turned and she pushed off the tiled roof; a flash step and she pushed off the next. Her darkly-robed body moved in a blur, invisible to the human eye. She became one with the night, her spirit rising and falling like the changing of the tides. She came to rest on a street corner some miles away from the action.

The fog was thickest here; a dense cloud had settled lazily overtop the street. She could feel it waiting for her inside, hidden by the impermeable white mist. She drew her zanpakto. The blade clicked. She closed her eyes, whispered the command that would bring it to life and waited. A moment later the beast howled; outraged, frightened, completely unsuspecting of its fate.

The street was silent once more.

A street lamp flickered in the distance but her closed eyes did not see it.

_Where are you? Why haven't you come?_

She asked this silently before opening her eyes to stare into the blank field of nothingness ahead of her. Every time she came to this place, to this world of human souls, she did so with the hope that he would appear. A cold concrete wind whipped down the street and slammed into her, bringing tears to her eyes.

No one had seen him or heard of Gin since that day. She loathed that day. Just thinking of it made her want to scream, cry, tear her hair out from its roots. She hated him. She hated him so much it made her heart bleed but she couldn't forget him. And every time, every single time, she came here she thought of him. A sigh escaped her lips. She sheathed her sword at her side with resignation.

"It's been a while Ran-chan."

Her breath froze and her heart stopped dead within the walls of her chest. A spine tingling sensation of eerie recognition left her body paralyzed as she glanced his way. With that familiar mop of silver hair and squinted eyes he smiled easily at her. Her heart clenched and kami how she hated him for it. She'd missed him. Missed him so much it hurt. She hadn't even realized how much until that moment.

She wanted to run into the arms that rested easily at his sides and press her face into the comforting expanse of his chest. She wanted to let him back into her heart. For a moment she faltered; her expression wavered, revealing her doubt.

_What should I do?_

She'd wondered many times over these past months about what would happen when they met again. On the long nights she'd lain awake thinking about him, she'd devised many scenarios, each with a different outcome, but nothing could've prepared her for the reality. He was there; real, tangible and standing just a few yards ahead of her. All she had to do was run...

Caught between the powerful emotions controlling her heart and the logical voice of reason screaming at her that this was wrong, she felt powerless. Her breath stuck in her throat and her heart pounded loudly in her ears, yet her body refused to move forward. She blinked slowly and when she opened her eyes, those deep turbulent pools of indigo, he was still there, waiting for her to decide. He hadn't drawn his blade and yet she knew he was not her friend. _ENEMY! ENEMY!_ Her mind screamed, so loud she had to listen.

She blinked again. His squinty-eyed fox smile was aimed at her now. _Bastard_. He moved only slightly, just the smallest flick of his hand, but it was enough to cause the numb shock to recede. The blood rushed back into her limbs and she took a confident step forward, her mind feeling somewhat reassured. _I can do this. I can do this._ The silent mantra repeated over and over again, each time the words took on more meaning.

Her progress forward was abruptly halted when a figure clad in white suddenly dropped down in front of her. The white coat and silver hair were familiar, but for the moment her mind could only grasp that he'd come between her and Gin. How dare he interfere? It took a moment of staring at the gracefully stencilled lines on the back of his robe for recognition to click into place.

_Taicho..._

"Matsumoto are you okay?"

He was always so over-protective. Just a boy in form but inside he was a warrior, a protector, with a soul much older than he appeared. He was so young but already his eyes held a certain sadness that said he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. They looked up at her now creased with concern, a pair of endless lonely seas, and she felt her head shake.

"I'm fine."

He scowled at her sheathed zanpakto and she flinched. Right…this was part of her duty, her obligation to the others. He was the enemy. She had no choice. Her hand wrapped around her body and gripped the leather handle. The sound of metal scraping against enamel rang loudly into the night. The pounding of her heart thrummed loudly in her ears and her anxious breaths puffed into small white clouds in the cool air.

"Go help the others. I'll take care of this traitor."

His voice was hard, and she understood how angry he was inside. He'd seen her every day since that fateful one at Sōkyoku Hill. He'd directed sympathetic glances her way when he'd noticed her mind wandering to dark places it didn't want to linger. He thought he understood because he'd lost his Momo to Aizen. No doubt he blamed Gin, at least in part, for what'd happened to Momo, but this wasn't his fight. No doubt he thought he was helping, thought he was saving her from having to do something so honourless. What he didn't realize was how different they were inside. He could never understand…it had to be her.

"No Taicho. Please, let me handle this."

His back stiffened. He didn't like to have his authority questioned. He glanced at her over his shoulder, his eyes dark and unreadable. She felt her head shake and her eyes closed. She was begging without saying a word and he seemed to understand her reasons. He stepped back and lowered his arm slightly.

"Matsumoto…are you sure? You know what will happen if-,"

Her hand lifted, abruptly clipping his words short. He nodded once, if hesitantly, before standing down. A moment later he was gone as if he'd never been there at all. A breeze swept down the street between them splashing the water logged air against her face. He hadn't moved. Their eyes locked from several hundred yards away. She wasn't sure if she had the strength….

"I'm supposed to kill you." Her voice sounded colder than she could ever remember it being. It betrayed none of the feelings tossing around in her heart, battered and beaten on a tumultuous sea. Her hand tightened around the hilt of her blade to stop it from shaking.

"If I'da known this would be a special occasion I'da dressed up a 'lil more," he cracked.

"Shut up."

A flash of pain shot through her hand. Her grip on the hilt of her zanpakto was so tight it cut into the flesh of her palm. She watched with disinterest as tiny rivulets of blood snaked down her wrist - crimson against snow.

_Drip_.

The first drop landed silently atop the pavement. With a whispered breath she straightened her shoulders and pointed the tip of her blade at him.

He had the audacity to look affronted. Somewhere inside of her something revelled in the look of surprise and betrayal that washed across his features. That ridiculous grin faded and his eyes opened to gaze at her. There was no more hiding, no more secrets between them now. The wind tossed her hair back from her face, caressing her skin with its cool touch. She closed her eyes for the space of a heart beat – just long enough to imagine that it was his feather-light touch brushing against her skin.

When her eyes opened he was standing in the same spot, his sword still sheathed at his hip. Didn't he realize by now that he couldn't play her anymore? She'd let herself be the fool for far too long, but not now and never again.

"Where did you go?" _Where did you go when you left me?_

That was what she wanted to ask but her throat closed up before those last vile words could force their way out. She cringed at the pained tone in her voice, the one that betrayed just how hurt she was that he'd chosen them over her, but her blade remained steady and her eyes hard.

He sighed and gazed up at the shadow of the moon hiding behind the clouds. For a fleeting glance a grimacing smile turned the corners of his mouth.

"Did ya know the moon don't set in Hueco Mundo Ran-chan?"

She shook her head and was surprised to see sadness in his eyes when they locked with hers. Even at this distance she could feel his pain…his loneliness. Had she been wrong? Was it possible he was hurting too? She shook her head again, this time to clear her thoughts. No...not this time. She'd made a promise to herself that day, one she intended to keep – no man would ever betray her the way he had, not even him.

He let out a weighted sigh before slipping his hands into his pockets. He stood casually on the street corner, his body illuminated by the hazy glow of the street lamp, and studied her in silence. He was waiting, she realized, waiting for her to make the next move. For a moment her stance faltered. Her arms lowered slightly of their own volition and she narrowed her eyes at him. What did he want? Why had he come after all this time? What exactly was he trying to prove?

"Why are you here Gin?"

"I was overdue for a visit don'tcha think? It gets so borin' in that place." He paused, then added a little quieter, "I missed ya Ran-chan."

He offered her a sheepish smile and a half shrug of his shoulders. The sharp tang of bitterness slickened her throat as she swallowed his words and felt her heart harden instantly. The anger swelled up inside her so suddenly that for a second she almost succumbed to it and allowed herself to be dragged beneath its undertow.

"I'm not your Ran-chan!" she lashed out, watching the way his eyebrows rose in surprise. "Take note Ichimaru Gin! I am Rangiku Matsumoto, tenth squad vice captain. Now draw your zanpakto traitor, or I'll cut you down unarmed. It makes no difference to me."

Her last words were dark, promising vengeance, yet her voice barely rose above a whisper. She meant them too – she would kill him where he stood because she couldn't bear another minute of looking at him. The thought of all the years she'd wasted defending him made her want to be sick. Despite her angry words his eyes didn't leave hers.

Those eyes had captivated her the day they first met, they'd warmed her on the coldest of nights and kept her company during lonely hours in Seireitei. Those eyes understood a part of her that no one else could – they saw right into her soul – and yet they looked at her now with such a painful expression she couldn't bear it any longer. They said to her 'it's you who've betrayed me.'

If she didn't kill him now she'd never find the strength to again and then she'd be a traitor too – no better than him. There were too many people counting on her to allow herself the luxury of being weak. This was her duty. This was her mission. As the tenth squad vice captain she no longer had a choice and so the voice inside of her, the one that whispered that she could still save him, was silenced.

"My, my, somethin's put ya in a rotten mood," he responded lightly, as if her harsh words hadn't touched him at all.

His too-casual response steeled her resolve, yet from where she stood she missed the hesitation in his touch when his hand grabbed the hilt of his blade. She missed the tiny frown lines that carved into the smooth skin of his cheeks and the heavy, leaden weight that suddenly constricted his chest and made it difficult for him to breath.

He'd never imagined the day would come when he'd raise his weapon to her as an enemy. His sword clicked as he unlocked it from its sheath. He'd never thought she would look at him with such hatred in her eyes, those eyes that'd always laughed for him. The sound of his sword was over-loud in the night air as it scraped against its wooden casing.

_Rangiku…_

The zanpakto sang as it was released and brought down to rest lightly at his side. The air around them pulsed and shifted ever so slightly. From the depths of the shadows a new figure loomed, his white face ghostly pale in the dim moonlight. Ulquiorra's expressionless gaze took in the scene before him with apparent disinterest before coming to a rest on Gin.

"Aizen-sama wishes you to know that he's watching."

"Ah, how kind of him to cheer me on! Give Aizen-sama my thanks."

The tear-streaked face of the boy nodded once before it vanished just as quickly as it'd appeared. The night fell silent in his absence; even the wind had died down around them.

"Are you ready?" she asked quietly, her expression dark. She could feel the spiritual pressure growing within until it was pouring out of her, flowing around her body like a great flame – brilliant, red and passionate. She waited until he solemnly nodded his head before she spoke the word that left him breathless and silent in its wake.

"BANKAI!"

The raging inferno enveloped her in an instant, stealing her breath away and hiding her from the world. The steady flame that'd once licked at her skin now burned her to the touch. She felt herself becoming one with the power, the beast, borrowing its strength and speed. Reiatsu exploded out from where she stood in powerful waves that slammed down the street in every direction, a tsunami in its purest form.

From amidst the fire her beast emerged, its angry howl screaming into the night. It settled behind her, its yellow eyes blazing with a thirst for blood. She felt them fix on Gin and sensed its desire to consume him. _Not yet_, she soothed it, _soon but not yet._ Her beast was as impatient as it was lazy; it would not wait long.

Gin was quick to hide the pitiful look that crossed his face as the flames of her reiatsu shifted and swirled into her blade. He wasn't sure what he'd expected to happen coming here. He'd just wanted to see her again, hear her voice, breathe air that wasn't stagnant with death and misery. He'd gotten what he wanted, but this had never been part of the plan.

Knowing that she hated him enough to kill him, enough to use her bankai to bring him down, made his heart ache. His Rangiku was gone and in her stead was someone he didn't recognize, a wolf in sheep's clothing. She appeared to be the same, but there seemed to be nothing left of the light-hearted, carefree girl he'd once known. He'd done this to her, made her hate him, planted the seed that allowed the darkness within her to grow, and the guilt was a bitter pill to swallow.

Facing her like this, as enemies, had never been part of his design, but perhaps it'd been Aizen's all along. He wouldn't put it past him – the twisted, vindictive, bastard – to arrange things this way, to ensure they destroyed each other. Well, if that was his aim, it appeared to have played out perfectly. The one factor Aizen hadn't considered, Gin noticed, was the only one he couldn't control and it held the power to untangle the careful web he'd woven.

"My, my Ran-chan! You've gone an' gotten a bankai an' all! Ya really wanna kill me that badly?"

--

"_Hey Gin?"_

"_Hmm?" He glanced up at her, a piece of fruit suspended half-way to his mouth. She giggled at the strange expression on his face and hugged her knees into her chest._

"_Do you think we're a family?" Her soft eyes, framed by shoulder length curls, peered curiously at him across the cold fire._

_He seemed to consider her question, his silver head tilting to the side. With a shrug he popped what was left of the fruit in his mouth and swallowed it down quickly._

"_I dunno. I s'pose ya could lookit it that way. We only got each other. That makes us a family don' it?"_

_She smiled and nodded her head readily, relieved that he felt the same. Excited at the prospect of finally having a family, she leapt forward and wrapped her arms around him, squeezing tight._

_He started at her embrace and shied away, casting an odd look over his shoulder at her._

"_What was that for?"_

_She shrugged. "Just because."_

"_Yer a strange one Ran-chan," he mused with a shake of his head and shuffled out of arm's reach._

"_But we're family now so you're stuck with me!"_

_She stuck out her tongue playfully and laughed. He smiled too, taking the rare opportunity to join in her mirth._

"_Yeah, yeah, I s'pose that's true. Jus' don' make me regret it!"_

--

"Yes." She didn't hesitate before answering.

_I don't want to kill you Gin, but I do want to hurt you. I want you to feel the kind of pain that cuts so deep you feel like you're rotting from the inside out. I want you to feel betrayed when I use this sword against you, feel the emptiness inside your chest where your heart used to be. I may not be able to kill you just yet, but I can still make you feel._

Gin tsked and shook his head, as if chiding a disobedient child. He glanced down at his own zanpakto thoughtfully, lifting it slowly in front of him. The street light gleamed off its razor sharp edges, reflecting the light back into his eyes. Could he really do it? Could he use his blade against her? He glanced up at her questioningly, searching her face for the answer. His heart said no, but her lips said yes.

"Release it."

Her impatience and frustration were clear on her features. Her eyes were so cold when they looked at him now. The fire in them that he'd always appreciated was gone. It was strange that even though the words coming from her were bitter, hard, and filled with nothing but ire, he found himself wishing that this meeting could extend into an eternity.

It was impossible to explain the all-consuming loneliness that descends into a place like Hueco Mundo. Even if he tried he didn't think she'd understand exactly what life had been like for him. True, he'd abandoned her and left her alone in Soul Society but she had friends there, allies, people to look out for her, like her Captain and the others. She may have spent these past months learning to hate him but she'd never been alone.

His loneliness was a hollow sensation that spread outward from his centre, like the hole in a hollow's chest. It consumed him, a little more each day until he felt like there was nothing left for it to devour. She had no idea what it felt like to exist in such a place, knowing you couldn't trust anyone around you, knowing how much they all despised you. He didn't have friends anymore, only enemies, but then he'd only really ever had one friend anyway.

He stared wearily down at his blade and turned his wrist with resignation before looking up at her. He flinched inwardly at the raw emotion flowing through her reiatsu. He could feel it all – every unshed tear, every angry curse, every hurt directed his way. He felt them and yet he could do nothing to stop the torrent of emotions pouring out of her. Nothing except perhaps…

"My my Ran-chan! That's some impressive release! You been practisin'?"

He didn't wait for her answer, but began to pace casually, a few steps back and forth. He didn't let her get a word out before he spoke up next.

"But of course you been a practisin'! I bet ya wanna show me what you can do wit' that thing. That's fine. It may be big but you an I both know it ain't enough to bring me down. Ah well…guess I'll just hafta fight ya both with my second release. Can't have the fight endin' too quickly after all the practisin' you been doin.' That just wouldn' be nice."

Rangiku grit her teeth, her body practically trembling as she seethed in anger. The hand at her side was clenched in a fist so tight her nails dug into her palm and her joints ached. She tossed her hair angrily over her shoulder and glared at him.

"Don't mock me! I don't have time for your games anymore. Release your bankai. I want to get this over with."

The false smile slipped from his lips as easily as it'd appeared and his eyes slowly opened. Green like the turbulent sea they stared at her for a long time before he glanced away and took a step backwards. Pointing his swords towards the sky he obliged with resignation. After all, who was he to deny her anything?

--

_She'd waited up for him again. He came to a halt a few feet away, reluctant to wake her. She sat a few feet from the mouth of the cave they shared, the one they called home. Her back rested against the stone rock face, and she'd hugged her knees into her chest to keep warm. Her face rested atop them now like a makeshift pillow and from the steady rise and fall of her shoulders he knew she was sound asleep._

_Every night he told her not to wait up for him yet she did it anyway. Foolish girl. She was going to get sick if she kept it up. He never once scolded her for it though. It meant too much to him, to know that someone cared enough to wait._

_He took a step forward and she stirred at the sound of his sandals on the gravely sand. Her head of golden curls lifted and looked around slowly, her dark eyes heavy with sleep. Catching sight of him she smiled warmly, the whites of her teeth shining bright in the moonlight._

"_You came back," she whispered softly._

_Stepping forward he took hold of her hands and helped her to her feet. She wavered unsteadily, her mind still half asleep and her body uncoordinated. Without a word he wrapped her arms around his neck and hoisted her onto his back to carry her inside._

_Her cheek snuggled into his shoulder blade and he could feel her slow, rhythmic breaths against the back of his neck. Lazy girl had already fallen back to sleep. He smiled inwardly at that and eased her gently down onto her bed. With a quiet groan she turned away from him to face the wall and pulled the blankets up closer to her chin._

"_You came back." Her words echoed in his mind and he stared thoughtfully at her sleeping form. After a long while he turned towards his own bed with a shake of his head. An impatient sigh escaped his lips._

"_Idiot. I'll always come back for ya."_

--

The energy flowed into him slowly, creeping through his veins like a poison to infuse him with a power he no longer felt he deserved. When the dust settled around him he turned towards her, a sinking sensation roiling in the pit of his stomach. This was it. Neither of them could turn back now, not with so many spectators watching. He may not have been able to see Aizen or his little lap dogs but he felt them all the same, their dark eyes watching his every move with calculated indifference.

His blade dropped to his side and waited for her to make the first move. She scowled at him down the laneway, her resolve no lessened after having seen his bankai release. She pointed her own blade at him now and the beast behind her howled towards the hidden moon.

"This is the end Gin," she promised, her words as foreboding as her tone. _This is our end._

Wearing a troubled frown he reluctantly raised his zanpakto and pointed it towards the endless night sky. His eyes lifted and stared at the tip, shining brilliant and sharp in the artificial light. From somewhere far away he heard her call out, commanding her beast to attack. He felt the burning wind, the rush of her reiatsu as it careened towards him, and closed his eyes. Even at this distance she had the ability to warm him with her touch.

"Rain down Shinsō."

--

_He stopped in front of her and tilted his head to the side inquisitively. She looked hungry. He reached into the inner folds of his kimono to retrieve a bread roll and held it out to her._

"_Hungry?" he asked, his voice dry and tight._

_She nodded her head, her eyes wide and snatched the offering from his hands, quickly devouring it. When she was finished she beamed up at him, a warm and grateful smile, and he returned it._

"_My name's Gin," he offered. "What's yours?"_

"_Rangiku."_

_Her smile grew wider until it took up nearly half of her petite face. Her eyes were large deep pools of indigo blue that expressed what she was thinking just as clearly as if she'd spoken it aloud. One glance told him that she trusted him implicitly. He extended his hand and helped her to her feet, allowing her to lean against him for support._

_Rangiku glanced over at him, this strange boy who'd saved her. She didn't think it at all odd that she placed so much trust in him. Something in his eyes told her it was okay, perhaps an inner strength she gravitated to. She would've followed him anywhere he led her after that day. All he had to do was ask._

--

Rangiku felt the rush of the wind as it whipped against her cheeks. Her eyes stared up in awe at the rainstorm of blades hurtling towards her.

_There isn't enough time_.

It was all she could think before her eyes squeezed shut and she cringed, waiting expectantly to be pierced and cut into a thousand pieces.

The first blade sank deep into the concrete to her right. It twanged loudly, angry at having missed its flesh and blood target. The rest followed in rapid succession, the sounds of cloth tearing and metal singing became nearly deafening. If both her hands weren't otherwise occupied with her zanpakto she would've stopped her ears against the noise but the blades continued to rain down, harder, faster and louder until everything just stopped.

The world suddenly went very quiet. Not a sound could be heard down the street. Not the breath of the wind, or the symphony of midnight insects. Time froze, the earth shuddered to a halt beneath her feet and Rangiku opened her eyes slowly. All around her was a vast, impenetrable forest of glinting metal blades. Some of them came so close as to pin her robes to the ground but not a single one of the razor sharp edges had made a blemish against her fair skin.

She stared through the forest of metal towards the spot where he stood and felt the anger begin to brew inside her heart. _Stupid, foolish man_, she spat, her eyes growing hard. He looked so calm standing there with that stupid frown on his face. _Bastard._

She stood rapt, watching his every move, waiting for him to say or do something but he did nothing. He stared at her with a secret smile on his lips, as though everything had turned out exactly how he'd wanted it to. Rangiku opened her mouth to shout some vile taunt in his direction, to curse at him and call him a coward, but the words evaporated in her throat.

Indigo eyes, the colour of the pre-night sky, widened at the shower of blood surrounding him, a crimson halo in the dark, to stain his pristine, white uniform a deep, blood red. His movements were surprisingly graceful as he fell, drifting slowly to the pavement like one of autumn's last vibrant leaves. There he remained, motionless against the pavement.

Just as suddenly, Rangiku's world slammed back into motion. The blood rushed in her ears and her heart careened frantically in her chest. Her eyes stared, unable to look away, at the slowly reddening heap of white robes in front of her. Her stomach made a sickening lurch but she couldn't force herself to turn away. She couldn't accept what her eyes had shown her.

"GIN!"

From somewhere far off she heard someone screaming his name in a tear laden voice, but he didn't stir and after a while she realized it was her own voice she'd heard. Tears streamed in hot torrents down her cheeks and a sob tore out of her from the very depths of her soul. Her legs wanted to run to him but she was trapped, imprisoned by his metal forest.

As if sensing her desperation the blades suddenly cracked and shattered all around her like glass. They fell harmlessly to the pavement, ready to be swept away with the next blustering gust of wind. Her legs moved of their own volition, her mind still reeling somewhere far behind, desperately trying to catch up.

She collapsed to her knees and pulled him towards her, shocked to see that he was still alive. He greeted her with a genuine smile, his eyes bearing her no ill will or resentment. A painful cough ripped through him and out of desperation she lifted his head onto her knees. Tears slipped down her cheeks to land atop his face and mingle with the spots of blood settled there. His smile slipped away and his expression grew serious.

"Ran-chan," he chided softly. "Ya know I don' like sad stories…"

In spite of herself she laughed at the ridiculousness of his comment. Catching sight of the blood spreading out around them on the pavement her face screwed up and the laugh quickly turned into a heartfelt sob.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, not knowing what else to say. She felt him shrug as if telling her not to worry about it, as though everything had already been forgiven. She looked down into his face and realized he wasn't looking at her anymore but past her, towards the night sky. His gaze appeared thoughtful and after a moment he spoke.

"Ran-chan?"

"What?" her voice warbled and she cleared it, swallowing down the choking sensation that wanted to suffocate her.

"I can feel the rain."

She looked up at the stars scattered brightly overhead, not sure what he was talking about. There'd been clouds before but they'd long since drifted off. The nearly full moon shone brightly now, illuminating their deserted street. She shook her head slowly, her forehead wrinkled with confusion. She began to ask but quickly stopped herself. Something inside of her broke then shattered completely. When she looked down it evaporated away leaving an emptiness inside of her. Her mind grasped blindly for his reiatsu but its absence solemnly confirmed what she already knew. He was gone.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there with his head held in her lap. The minutes or hours didn't matter though. It could've been an eternity for all she cared. The only thing she knew now was that she couldn't bear to move. If she moved, if she stopped touching him, then this nightmare of hers would become real and she didn't think she was strong enough to handle it.

She couldn't feel the tears spilling out of her eyes anymore but they continued to roll silently down her cheeks and drip off her chin. Ever so slowly they removed all traces of blood from his face. His peaceful expression hinted that he was merely sleeping but the crimson puddle surrounding them told her the truth and it was the truth that was slowly killing her.

"Matsumoto."

A stern voice from somewhere in the present drew her thoughts out of that dark place. She lifted her head dazedly and glanced over her shoulder at the small figure of her Captain. His gaze was hard and uncompromising. He looked disinterestedly at the body lying sprawled across the pavement but flinched when he caught sight of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"He's dead," she whispered into the night, barely able to push the words past her lips. He regarded her with a sympathetic expression and took a step towards her. His tone was firm and authoritative when he spoke.

"It's time for us to go. Our mission here is over."

"I can't. I can't go back without him," she confessed, whispering shakily into the night.

"You must. You know what the penalty is for traitors! He can never go back."

His tone was harsh and she flinched to hear it directed at her. It was no secret that there was no love lost between her captain and Gin. It was Gin's fault for what happened to his Momo, she knew that, but she couldn't do as he asked. He was right to despise him, justified even in taking joy in his demise, but he couldn't even begin to understand what she was going though.

When she didn't respond she felt him crouch at her side and gently grasp her arm. "Matsumoto…let it go. It isn't your fault things turned out this way. You must come with me now, back to Soul Society. You have a duty to uphold. The tenth squad needs its vice captain."

She was silent for a long while, to allow her mind absorb his words. He was right of course. The logical part of her realized that Gin was no longer there, but that didn't stop her heart from wanting to stay in that spot forever. She never wanted to move from that moment, but she no longer had a choice.

With jerky movements she nodded her head and pulled at the elegant pink scarf wound round her shoulders. Her fingers lovingly grazed the fine silk as she folded it into a small bundle and set it on the ground. With a weary sigh she took one last, lingering look at Gin's face before placing his tousled silver head atop the pink satin pillow.

The warmth of his body faded quickly from her skin and clothes and it was then that she felt his lost most acutely. As if sensing her hesitancy, Hitsugaya suddenly pulled her to her feet. With a firm hand he guided her towards the portal at the end of the street. Its brilliant, gleaming door was spread wide, waiting to accept them back into the land of the dead.

As the light slowly enveloped her, Gin's final words stuck in her mind.

_I can feel the rain_…

What did he mean? What was he trying to tell her? She eventually resigned herself to the disappointing realization that she'd probably never know. There were a lot of things she'd never know about him. Why he'd left, why he'd joined Aizen to begin with, why he didn't defend himself against her attack… There were so many unanswered questions, so many unspoken words.

What Rangiku didn't realize was that, in truth, Gin's prediction had been right all along. Later that night, long after the others had returned to Soul Society, the moon hid for shame behind darkened clouds and the rain fell in heavy, weeping droplets to the world weary earth to wash away all traces of her tears.

--

_I'm still afraid to be alone..._

_Kill yourself, surprise your friends. Raise a toast to everything we once had..._

"The Song I Swore To Never Sing" by Moneen

--

**Author's Note 2: **I hadn't originally planned on this story taking me a year to write. This is sort of how the conversation went:

_Muse: So you DO realize it's been almost a year since you first posted this right?_

_Me: No way! It definitely hasn't been that long._

_Muse: See for yourself._

_Me: What? No….really?_

_Muse: (gives me that frustrated glare he gives me when I'm being slow)_

_Me: Damn… Guess I better update then eh?_

_Muse: Ya think?_

So it started as a one-shot, sort of a random idea playing in my head, and then expanded on its own into something more substantial. It's the shortest complete story I've ever written but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

I know some of you were looking for a happy ending but it just wasn't possible. Gin and Rangiku…they're tragic characters. Tragic characters don't get happy endings. Even in the series, there's just too much water under the bridge at this point. The only recourse they really have left is to see it through to the end. I'm interested to see where Kubo takes these two characters. If their story ends anything like how I've written it…well…I think my head will really, truly explode. haha

Thank you to those of you who submitted reviews, favoured this fic, or recommended it to a friend. It's impossible to please everyone when you write but I'm glad I impressed a few of you. This may be the end of Gin and Rangiku's story but it's not the end for me. I'll be back soon :)

Langus


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